Where is Lincoln’s nightlife legend?
“It’s always a better night out with Jay Jay”
Who do you want to be in 50 or 60 years?
If your answer’ is “anybody but Jay Jay” then congrats: you’re probably quite sensible. Go celebrate with a cup of Earl Grey and a copy of The Independent.
For everyone left, I ask you: who wouldn’t want to be just a little like Jay Jay when they reach the tender old age of past 40?
From flirting with anything with a pulse and matching chromosomes to clothing himself in the sort of attire you’d usually see on a lad’s holiday to Zante, Jay Jay is either the ultimate embodiment of the id or just a bit of a nutter.
Lincoln’s answer to Hugh Heffner is regularly seen wearing his distinctive Fifty Shades of Jay Jay t-shirt, prompting rumours that E.L. James has plans to write him into her fourth book.
But not only does he dress like Michael Kors, according to 18-year-old Shannon Gilmour, a nursing student, he can also dance like Michael Jackson: “He was a great dancer, very impressive for his age.”
But you can have all the style, moves and wit of Jay from The Inbetweeners in the world – you’re still going to look like a peasant if you have to walk home or end the night in a taxi.
Jay Jay is clearly way ahead. This boy racer’s vehicle of choice is a yellow MG with a spoiler, personalised plates and stickers that allegedly read Jay Jay the Best. There can be no arguments over that.
A Lincoln nightlife regular said: “I always seem to get a selfie with him. Me and my mates once convinced him to give us a lift to McDonald’s after a night out – he agreed to drive us if we promised to introduce him to our hot blonde friend.
“He gave me [his number] so I could invite him to pre-drinks some time. Never did.”
English student Adam Riley, 20, provided another slightly more realistic point of view.
He said: “I know a lot of girls do find him really weird and pervy – he only orders water at the bar which is a bit weird – but a lot like the fact that it was him.”
Would it be safer to stay at home when you reach that age, watching Downtown with a takeaway? Of course. But would it be more fun? Quite possibly.
These days you can still find Jay Jay out and about, wandering through Status for free McDonalds or giving L4 a visit for a classy pitcher of Sex on the Beach, but like an endangered animal he’s becoming somewhat more difficult to find.
For now, let’s just be super grateful he’s still joining us on nights out and hope he continues to shock, amaze and possibly even disturb students for years to come.
As politics student Ben Moores, 18, said: “It’s always a better night out with Jay Jay.”