We went on a ‘tight and bright’ social with the swim team

I joined the Swimming Team on their biggest night out of the year to find out exactly why the back of their T-shirts say “In and out in 30 seconds” – and if their socials are really as legendary as people say.

Before the social I had to take a trip into the town centre to a shop famous amongst the swim team before a good social, Top Girl. Lurking in the top corner of Haymarket with a window display of bright yellow tutus and police outfits, I ventured in with a sceptical mind. They even sold rainbow wigs.

Cheeky

The pre-drinks were even at my house. I admit that’s because one of my housemates is a swimmer, but still. We sat around waiting as the swimmers poured in school by school (a fish reference, get it? ’cause they swim?), and some of the freshers even came all the way from Oadby especially for the pre-bar crawl hyped up drinking sesh.

I didn’t bother telling them that I had taught myself to swim at the age of nine because my armbands had burst, but I doubt they would have minded. Apparently someone joined their team last year who couldn’t even swim. He just went along for the bants.

With it being their most famous social of the year, the “Tight and Bright” Wednesday night speciality, the living room suddenly looked like a year 8 disco had spewed on it. And it was too early in the night for spewing yet. Everyone looked great for about 10 seconds, before I was blinded by the luminosity of everyone’s outfits, like looking at the sun for too long.

Everyone really had committed – they were even wearing their swimming costumes. When it comes to picking outfits, the swim team definitely drown themselves in the theme. One boy even turned up in a glowing pink crop top and yellow fishnet gloves. The Corn Exchange staff were definitely traumatised.

All or nothing

The night started with a few brutal rounds of “Never have I ever” as well as other drinking games. One girl was tricked into drinking for having had a nosebleed during giving a blowjob – due to the specifics, I assumed this was a personal joke. Then a boy was made to drink for having given a girl a nosebleed during a blowjob. Apparently, the two incidents weren’t even related – yeah, okay.

After all of the games were done and everyone was sufficiently tipsy (some were even quite far past that, at half nine – classic) we headed out to The Corn Exchange to terrify the locals into thinking they were somehow back in the 80s. Minus the glowsticks. Here, everyone got sufficiently hammered for a good few hours and many a group picture was taken. I think we even played drinking games there.

Diving deeper into the night, we went to what I was told was the best place for the swim team on their socials: Reynards. It was raining outside which was, undoubtedly, fine for the water bodies of the societies. In fact, they probably planned it.

Upon arrival I was handed a fish bowl of what I was told was Purple Rain. The next day I was informed by hungover texts exchanged by the team that no-one remembered even leaving The Corn Exchange because they were so drunk, which is apparently a standard social night. And also explains why someone requested the DJ to play N-Dubz.

Moving swiftly on to the bright lights of the O2 everyone taxi’d it, still looking like they’d crawled out of the wreck of an exploded UV paint factory. Everyone had been showered in glitter and each other’s accessories.

No trouble Finding Nemo in the O2

Once we were bopping along to the classic LetsDisko tunes (which actually were a classic bit of Biebs, what with it being JB night) the VKs were showered around, something that could only have made us even brighter than we already were.

And I’m going to admit, from what I witnessed, a fair amount of swimcest took place. There was definitely a bit of synchronized diving going on there.

Crammed in like sardines

From the swim team, I learnt a new tip: if you want to be served first at the bar, pimp yourself out like a pack of highlighters.

Taking pole position as my favourite team yet, the swimmers don’t let rain dampen their evening – they thrive in it.