Secret Santa’s best gift ideas

Whether you’re taking part in one for your house, your workplace, your study-group, or even your best friends from the local takeaway, Secret Santa affects us all. 

Secret Santa….

It’s rare that upon drawing a name from a hat (or sock, oven glove, my front pocket) you’ll be immediately filled with a sense of yuletide relief at knowing the perfect gift for your fleeting new BFF.

This list is for all those who, like me, have reached the depths of despair whilst plundering Highcross for the perfect £5 present for that person who suddenly seems to have absolutely no interests or discerning qualities that would make this whole process a whole lot easier. And it’s not like you can just ask them…

For the foodie – The GarlicZoom

They’ve got a kitchen utensil drawer larger than Gordon Ramsey’s vocabulary, and for all you know half of their accessories look like medieval torture devices or alien sex toys. The ‘garlic zoom’ is the perfect gift for the culinary buff who loves to leave the kitchen hazing in that wonderful garlic fragrance.

Here’s an introduction from a man who REALLY likes garlic..

For the alcoholic – In case of emergency Jaeger

Although this title could be a thinly veiled description of students on the whole, we have to work on the basis that this won’t be everybody’s cup of tea. We all have those friends who like to celebrate their miraculously waking up in the morning with a nice cold beer. The same friends who have to daily manoeuvre the path to bed through the graveyard of dearly departed bottles and cans. This is an ideal gift for those who seem to always arrive home at mid-afternoon slightly fuzzy. “Where have you been?” “Lectures.”

The caffeine addict – Hot Straws

These people should come with a warning label that they will most probably implode and crumble to dust if they haven’t got some coffee in their system by an hour after they get up. These ingeniously named ‘hotstraws’ will allow your caffeine-powered automaton of a friend to drink their orange-mocha frappuccino on the go.

The introvert – ‘images you shouldn’t masturbate to’ book

The paleness of their skin would make any vampire look like a member of Geordie Shore. You know absolutely nothing about them apart from occasional nightmarish laughs coming from their room at strange hours of the night and a particular propensity for playing ABBA’s greatest hits on loop. You’ve got a sneaking feeling that this person may have a particular fondness for doing something so often that their type would usually be prefixed with the word ‘chronic’. Either way, this book may offend, but everyone else should find it pretty damn funny, so who cares?

one of the suggestions..