Football Varsity Afterparty: The match report you want to read

Leicester suffered a devastating 2-1 loss at the annual men’s football varsity against old rival DMU. So instead of victory celebrations, it was time to drown our sorrows in countless glasses of £2 double vodka mixer (if only the union would do them as well…) at the official varsity after party at the Club Republic.

Not the most promising start for UoL to be honest – our football squad walks in looking like they’re about to attend someone’s funeral. Black shirts have never been so appropriate. The rest of UoL, however, seem to have used varsity as yet another excuse to get absolutely carparked. You, generous Moët fan, spending £300 on champagne might have seemed like a brilliant idea on a Monday night, but was it really? It definitely was not a good idea for your friend who managed to leave a beautiful piece of her insides in the corner of VIP room – elite without being elitist….

Or our stunning ladies flashing their knickers on the dancefloor… some things are better left unseen, said no guy ever. Inappropriate public displays of affection, dirty dancing by some members of the football squad and singing that puts Adele to a shame. Cheerleaders moving onto water long before 2am and certain sports team members taking a cheeky nap in the club… The list is endless. Seems like we’ve got it all! Leicester uni’s definitely got the talent.

So, even though we might have lost one battle on the football pitch, we definitely kicked-ass on the Superstar Mondays drinking battle! Let the Varsity season continue…