‘Call it safety or call it startling’: Things you’ll only know if you live in Hyde Park

Claiming it’s not dingey or damp, but ‘vibe’, is just the Hyde Park way

1 year ago

Ah, Hyde Park – notoriously known for where second years move to, from skyscrapers and safety, to streetside sofas and daily mayhem. And this is your home for the next few years. Instead of finding out the hard way, in which I mean by living here, I’ve decided to create an All-You-Need-To-Know list of things you’ll only know if you live in Hyde Park, because truth be told, it’s not like any other student area – we have “business cards”, didn’t you know?

Royal Park Pub / RPP

I love u xx

Once you’re sick of first year clubbing, or you’ve been embarrassed yourself doing karaoke at Dry Dock one too many times, Tuesday’s at RPP is the only place to go and before you know it, you’re queuing up straight after uni to make sure you get inside before the dreaded 7pm mayhem.

£3.90 for a two-pinter, or if you’re quick, there’s a mighty four-pinter jug up for grabs, alongside loads of deals for spirits and mixers. Give it till 9pm and you’ll be outside telling everyone just how much you love them, all to embarrass yourself again next Tuesday.

24-hour Saino’s

Whether it’s 9pm or 4am, Saino’s is a lifesaver. There’s always going to be people needing shite – from crisps and dips for a night in watching Come Dine With Me, to last minute cheap wine and cigs.

To being dressed up before pre’s, or in your dressing gown and slippers nipping in for oat milk, this place will be there for you any time of the day – treat it with kindness and respect, and please, don’t rinse them of their vodka every Friday night! Too many times I’ve been in here and the shelves have been absolutely ransacked like Covid times.

The bars on the house windows (?????)

I’ve never seen this in any other student area but Leeds – call it safety or call it startling. The designers of Leeds’ student houses clearly took inspiration from the latest prison cell mag; the bars and gates on our windows and doors add a certain delicacy to our streets, but hey, who can complain when wheelie bin theft is a serious crime in these ends, amongst others.

The rats

The rats in Hyde Park are on steroids and I stand by that. They are huge and take no shit at all. Absolutely petrifying and not a vibe.

The dodgy ahem business cards

Another Leeds special, (where customer service is clearly the best in the country) – we have business cards. You know what type of business. It’s a collective Leeds emotion of seeing a black Polo parked up on the curb with the window rolled down and a hand sticking out to pass you that, oh so official form of marketing. Cheers for your business graduates, Beckett.

The random gun shot/fireworks

Nobody ever knows what they are and why they happen in 3pm in broad daylight, literally every day. Your guess is as good as mine but it shits you up as if it’s your first time hearing it.