We asked and you delivered: Here are Lancaster’s housemate horror stories

From dirty to just plain wrong, the worst housemates are apparently in Lancaster.

TW: Discussion of vomit, mouldy food, insects, and various bodily fluids throughout

Moving into uni accommodation is always exciting, but when people with different attitudes, opinions, and standards of cleanliness mix, chaos lurks around every corner.

We asked Lancaster students about their worst housemate experiences, and some were horrible, some were disgusting and some were just… odd.  Read at your own risk. A strong stomach is advised… 

Lancaster’s Kitchen Nightmares

“A tupperware of pasta was in the fridge for upwards of 3 weeks, and from the outside, it looked fine, but smelled very very bad. Opened the box to find that mould had eaten a green and furry hole into it.” 

One student said: “A sausage casserole was left in the fridge till the whole kitchen smelled like something died. It was jellied mould when it was binned.” 

Another County student explained how “milk came out of the bottle as a solid, like, mouldy, chunky ice cream.” 

And then a third County student recalled that “unwashed dishes were on the side of the kitchen for upwards of three weeks, they were green and I still don’t know how we didn’t get maggots.” 

Seriously, what is going on in County?

A (non-County) student told us: “I went into a friend’s accommodation and raw meat, kind of like kebab chunks was hung from their townhouse kitchen ceiling. When I asked her about it, she just said “yeah it’s our flatmates” with no other follow-up. Still confused.” 

We were also told that someone’s housemate “left a bin with food and no bin bag or lid for a week whilst on holiday. When it was emptied 2 weeks later (because of the flies), it was really heavy and ended up spilling all over the kitchen floor.” 

It’s enough to make Gordon Ramsay cry.

Who raised these people?

One student talked of rumours that “someone had sex on our sofa. Still not sure if it is true, and I don’t ever want to know.” 

“One night we padlocked one of our housemate’s cupboards shut and hid all his stuff around the house to take the piss,” described a County student. We’re starting to see a collegiate pattern here. 

Another student told us: “Someone I lived with pissed in our kitchen sink, while we were in the kitchen. We all had ensuites as well, they did it purely because they were drunk and bored.” 

Again, who raised you?

Toilet Troubles

An anonymous student described how “someone left a massive skid mark in the toilet. Like, it was coating the bottom of it. You could smell it from down the hall. When I asked who it was to clean it, I was shouted at and expected to clean it myself. ” 

A Pendle student told us: “In first year we had one flatmate who threw up all over our shared toilets. The sick was literally splashed up the walls beside the toilet, under the seat, all over the floor… When mentioned in the group chat he tried to pretend it wasn’t him and then he left it there for 3 days until we got fed up and had to clean it up ourselves. The person that cleaned it had to wear two masks in the hopes of not making themselves throw up from it.”

At least it’s not County this time.

And finally, a personal favourite.

“Not exactly a housemate, but one day we managed to achieve every Lancs students dream: luring some ducks into our townhouse long enough to take some very cute pictures. It was also long enough for them to shit on our living room floor.”

This was from, you guessed it, a County student. 

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