We tried all the underrated caterpillar cakes in Lancaster so you don’t have to

A furious dispute has gripped the nation, and will surely go down in legal history, between two caterpillar cakes carrying the names of “Colin” and “Cuthbert”.  Fights have broken out, harsh words have been exchanged and the British population has watched with bated breath, unsure of the outcome.

The ordeal got all of us at the Lancaster Tab thinking about the numerous other caterpillar cakes that aren’t getting an adequate share of the limelight right now so we set out on a mission; a mission we are pleased to say has been completed after a great deal of time and effort.

Here is our comprehensive review of five of the other caterpillar cakes available to purchase around Lancaster.

Charlie the Caterpillar (Co-op) – 6/10

First up we have Co-op’s contribution to the caterpillar cake industry, affectionately named Charlie. Regrettably, marks had to be deducted for the naming of the cake as while it does begin with a C, it doesn’t have the pizzazz that only alliteration can provide (surely Cornelius, Chloe or Connor would all be more suitable).

As far as the taste was concerned, it’s an acceptable enough combination of chocolate, butter, flower and sugar and the distinctive yellowish hue of the face is a nice touch. Overall, this isn’t the pinnacle of insect-inspired confectionery but will do its job well enough.

Wiggles the Caterpillar (Sainsbury’s) – 9/10

One of the cutest things about Wiggles is his name, and while it may be controversial because it doesn’t begin with a “C”, you just can’t deny its cuteness. A good thing about Wiggles was that he was fondant free which definitely gained him a few extra points!

While his chocolate coat made him slightly difficult to cut as he just crumbled and his eyes might be a bit scary, his cake to icing ratio was very good. I expected him to be too dry but found the opposite. While I think that the chocolate icing was the best bit of the cake, my flatmate would argue it is the butterfly mask activity that came on the box.

Morris the Caterpillar (Morrisons) – 7/10

The name Morris lacks creativity but does a good job at indicating which supermarket it’s representing. The caterpillar looked appealing and aesthetically pleasing, decorated using smarties and sprinkles, and it had a chocolate face and chocolate feet.

The biggest problem with Morris was that when cutting him into slices he completely fell apart and was very messy to eat. Despite the rumors and warning that Morris was dry, I did not experience this, and instead thought there was a good ratio of cake sponge to buttercream icing. Morris was tasty but would have received higher marks if it wasn’t for the fact that we had to travel to Morecambe to pick him up.

Clyde the Caterpillar (Asda) – 8/10

High marks for the name of this caterpillar cake and the fact that the green face gives a bit of Asda representation. Clyde was definitely one of the better caterpillar cakes I’ve eaten as he was both delicious and adorable.

Whilst normally the fact that the decorations were fondant would have lost him points, you have to agree that his little boots were cute. A 10/10 would have been rewarded for a chocolate face but the fact that he was cheaper than a traditional Colin the Caterpillar makes him a good contender.

Curly the Caterpillar (Tesco) – 7/10

While the name of this critter is exceptionally cute, I did find their face to be downright terrifying, and something my flatmate referred to as “uninspiring”. The cake itself and the chocolate buttercream was heavenly and especially tasty after a night at Grizedale bar. Unfortunately, it does lose a couple of points for the overly sweet decorations that didn’t go with the rich chocolaty flavours, however, I would definitely not be disappointed if I had this for my birthday. 

The outcome of our extensive investigation is the conclusion that Wiggles the caterpillar deserves the title of “most underrated caterpillar cake in Lancaster” – a coveted title which I’m sure Sainsbury’s will now incorporate into all of their marketing. We hope you’ve enjoyed reading about this fondant-filled escapade.

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