QUIZ: Which budget Christmas cracker joke are you?

On the first day of quizmas


It is that time of year again where the leaves fall from the trees and Lancaster’s campus is starting to feel colder than usual. So as you wrap up warm and embrace the changing weather, all that is on your mind is going home for Christmas, waving goodbye to Lancaster for a month to say hello to that delicious Christmas dinner.

Christmas day, it’s finally time to get out the crackers and wait in anticipation to see if you get the bottle opener and red paper hat. But the best part of pulling crackers is reading out the ridiculous Christmas jokes which make your grandparents laugh and your siblings shake their head in shame.

For the first day of Quizmas, here is a list of the worst, and subsequently funniest, Christmas cracker jokes. Then take the quiz to find out which one you are.

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

(A Christmas quacker.)

Nothing screams Lancaster University more than the mention of a duck. But instead of calling them ducks, on the run up to Christmas, they are now called Quackers.

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

(Tinsillitis)

The idea of eating tinsel makes my throat itch! If you ate all the tinsel, what would you decorate the tree with?

Did Rudolph go to school?

(No, he was elf-taught)

Insert image of Will Ferrell dressed as an elf sitting at a desk as he towers all the other elves as he is really a human. Elf is definitely one of the best Christmas films, ever.

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Who is Santa’s favourite singer?

(Elfis Presley)

Another play on words, but it just seems as if they tried too hard with this joke.

Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?

(They were two deer)

The story of every University student’s life! That moment when you load up your online basket to then realise that your bank does not support your expensive taste in clothes.

Take the quiz!!