The King’s Varsity Rugby boys are HERE and UCL better watch the fuck out
We’ve included their instas – you’re welcome
Tom HaynesWith Varsity well under way, we've saved the best for last. The Rugby game is the big finale of the series and is shaping up to be quite the showstopper. Let's marvel at the specimens below.
Captain: Sam Ridgway, third year Geography
Position: Number 8
"Only thing bigger than his biceps? His heart."
Noah Sloot, third year French and Business Management
Position: Flanker
"In house Parisian ambassador."
"Not black. brown."
Noah-Vincenz Noeh, third year Computer Science
Position: Flanker
"110kg of uncontrollable German engineering."
"Rebound expert."
Andrew Wilcox, fourth year Physics
Position: Flanker
@andrewwilcox
"Guen, ooh ahh, Malia, say ooh aah Malia!"
Bryan Michael Wong, fourth year Philosophy, Politics, and Law
Position: Hooker
"CEO of BMW special fried rice empire."
"Doing well."
Blaise Salle, fourth year Philosophy, Politics, and Law
Position: Centre
"Be seeing you."
"Founder and Chancellor of Mulcahy's School of Mind Palace Building."
Court Horey, third year History
Position: Centre
"The home-wrecking liability."
"Apparently it was just a rough year."
Josh Jones, third year History
Position: Half-Back
"Trump on Steroids."
"Graduate from Mulcahy's School of Mind Palace Building (Level 2)."
"Still stinks, though."
Barney Meadowcroft, third year Law
Position: Half-Back
"Still bloody boring."
"Just more emotional."
Simon Fisher, third year War Studies and History
Position: Half-Back
@simon.9fisher
"Furher right than Rees-Mogg."
Tom Hodson, third year P.E.
Position: Winger
"Provider of utterly incompetent solutions to situations that don't need solutions."
"Still awaiting acceptance into Mulcahy's School of Mind Palace Building."
Shayann Mohajeri, third year Biomedical Science
Position: Winger
"Dirty thumb, stump."
Harry Robb, second year Biomedical Science
Position: Flanker/Hooker
"Never. Ever. Fails to look good."
"tbf."
Owen Hughes, second year Dentistry
Position: Hooker
"Career driven."
Yazad Sethna, second year Neuroscience
Position: Lock
"Once sold his cousin to Asham for four goats and an omeshi rug."
"Easy money, mate."
Gus Thomas, second year History and War Studies
Position: Fullback/Wing
"Full potential has never been uncovered."
"Tends to play in Shearer's shadow."
Fawaz Noibi, second year Law
Position: Wing
"Like father like son."
"Just more Nigerian."
Sam Galy, first year P.E.
Position: Prop
"Second year of Mulcahy's School of Mind Palace Building."
Alec Baldwin, first year Physics
Position: Prop
Only man in 7.6 billion with a worse stench than Josh Jones."
Sam Grasby, first year Physics
Position: Lock
"Dual personality kicks in after a cry about his missus."
Max Sommerfield, first year International Relations
Position: Flanker
@maximusommerfeld
"Don't ask him if he understands."
"He won't."
Riordan Morley, first year History
Position: Centre/Half-Back
"Wet as fuck."
Chico U'Chong, post grad Physiotherapy
Position: Half-Back
"Favours owed."
FG Jaeck, post grad Conflict, Security, and Development
Position: Winger/Full-Back
"I've got nothing left. Sorry."
The match against UCL is on Friday 16th March, Allianz Park NW4 1RL. Tickets can be purchased here, it's set to be the biggest match of Varsity so don't miss a chance to look at their biceps.
Aaron Edwards
Applications for The King’s Tab’s editorial team are now OPEN
We’re recruiting for Editor in Chief, News Editor, Features Editor, Social Media Editor and TikTok Editor
Taylor Swift announces surprise return to KCLSU The Vault to round off UK Eras Tour
Taylor played her first ever UK show at The Vault in 2008
Here are six essential fashion trends for King’s students this Spring
Jade BellExpect vibrant flowers, classic denim and a little bit of fur
American Football Varsity match abandoned after King’s player allegedly used racial slur on pitch
A King’s student allegedly called a UCL Emperor’s player a ‘n****r’ during the game
KCL Israel Society cancels event over safety concerns after speaker receives death threats
Lily PowellFormer IDF soldier turned charity leader Ely Lassman was branded a ‘war criminal’ online
KCL Women’s Hockey team robbed of a win by UCL during London Varsity Series
Hannah ConstableUCL Women’s Hockey team pipped KCL to the post by one lucky goal
King’s is one of the top 40 best universities in the world, according to new ranking
KCL has dropped three places in the rankings from last year
In honour of International Women’s Day, meet the influential King’s alumni
Selina HayreKing’s has been home to some incredible women throughout its history, so there’s a lot to live up to
A complete rundown of all the places Kate Middleton could be hiding at King’s
Rumours are strife for where the Princess of Wales could be after not being seen in public since Christmas Day, but what if she was stuck at King’s somehow
Look at these memes about the London Overground names while you wait for your delayed train
‘Babe, I’m just hopping on the Suffy G line’
We asked and you delivered: These are officially King’s students biggest icks
Unlike Anton with Georgia H, you’ll struggle to come back from the ick
The 10 best places to cry in London as a bitter singleton
Elisaveta IvThe best ways to fill the empty hole in your heart
Here are seven date night ideas to impress your KCL Valentine
Because we all want to get out of the situationship phase
Move over Valentine’s: Here are 10 activities for Palentine’s and Galentine’s at KCL
Boyfriends and girlfriends are gonna come and go, but this is for life
Here are five Valentine’s date ideas for every type of couple in London
Because you deserve more than just a £2.50 Tesco card
KCLSU to host a porn and pizza party as part of SHAG week
Yes, you read that right. KCLSU are hosting a porn literacy and pizza party to kick off SHAG week from 5th to 9th February
KCL wants to block off area outside university building to stop ‘vagrants’ sleeping around it
Staff are ‘constantly’ removing syringes and needles which are a ‘hazard’
Call for review of KCL counterterrorism course after accusations of ‘indoctrination’
A Foreign Office official complained the course was ‘biased’
KCL Tories condemned for discussing the sinking of migrant boats at booze fuelled debate
Labour’s shadow minister Jon Ashworth branded the motion a ‘disgraceful new low’
From tattoos to moving in together: What are Tori and Jack up to after MAFS Australia 2024?
Ellie RingThey’re in their own little bubble
More lies Jack from MAFS Australia has been telling his ex have surfaced and it’s chaos
Harrison Brocklehurst‘He’s only staying with Tori because he’s backed into a corner’
Ben slams Ellie for being ‘vindictive’ on MAFS and claims she’s with Jono for ‘publicity’
‘She always played the victim’
Cast member Ben claims MAFS Australia 2024 producers mocked and ‘criticised’ his ADHD
‘I didn’t sign up to be taken advantage of through my mental health’
A look inside the wholesome life of Jessica Gunning who carried Baby Reindeer as Martha
Francesca EkeI can’t believe she’s not actually Scottish
Emily Smith
No ifs, no buts: These are the absolute WORST episodes of Black Mirror ever
Black Mirror episode idea: Me being forced to watch these on loop
Inside the wild transformations of the Buffy cast, from the first episode to now
Sarah Michelle Gellar my ageless queen!
What have raunchy lovebirds Ridge and Jade been up since MAFS Australia 2024?
Not him getting her name tattooed on his back
Everyone’s wondering if Baby Reindeer’s on stage breakdown was real, so here’s what happened
Phoebe KowhaiDonny opened up about the sexual assault he had experienced whilst performing stand up
One MAFS Australia 2024 groom who made it to final vows has already got a new girlfriend
And apparently they dated before the show?!
Man falsely accused of being Darrien from Baby Reindeer has launched police investigation
He has involved police due to ‘defamatory, abusive and threatening posts’ against him
‘I love the surprise’: Richard Gadd has spoken about why he chose THAT Baby Reindeer ending
‘It was the most truthful scene of the entire show’
Are Jono and Lauren still together after his MAFS Australia 2024 texting scandal?
It’s not looking good for the couple
Eden cashes in on MAFS Australia 2024 fame as she signs with influencer talent management
Lucinda has also joined the same management as Tahnee Cook
Forget Tinder, this note of a guy trying to pull on a Sheffield bench has everyone weeping
New pulling technique? Sorted
From Kerry Katona to Shakira: Inside Lucien Laviscount’s unexpected dating history
Suchismita GhoshShakira is a plot twist no one saw coming
Ben reveals he always suspected something ‘fishy’ was going on between Jono & Ellie on MAFS
‘I saw the way they looked at each other from the start’
Bronte speaks out against MAFS Australia and says show offers no support to the cast
‘During filming, I was distraught’
