What your houseplant of choice says about the kind of Exeter student you are

Ever wondered what the people who work at Hutch Houseplants REALLY think about you when you buy this plant?

| UPDATED

I refuse to believe I am the only one that has spent an unacceptable amount of my student loan on houseplants for my uni room. Most of them, I must also admit, have not survived the summer drought, leading me to become a regular at the Urban Plant Centre next to the Undergrad cafe. Over the course of several visits, I have familiarised myself with the psychology of plant selection, and have become a semi-pro at matching plant to person. Why not see if I got you right?

1. Artificial houseplant

Having a fake plant absolutely does not make you a fake person – keeping plants alive and healthy is much harder than it sounds – it was hard enough keeping a tamagotchi alive circa 2007, let alone a real plant. You’re someone who knows your limits but isn’t afraid of keeping things lively – a philosophy I’d wager extends beyond your plant-care. You’re into the classics, which in Exeter terms, translates to TP Fridays and too many pints at the Vic.

2. Snake plant

Honestly, this kind of might as well be an artificial plant. They’re super low maintenance and don’t grow to take up lots of space, so you probably keep this plant on your desk and don’t pay it too much attention. This may be because you spend more time in the kitchen than at your desk, though. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with working hard and playing harder. You’re definitely at TP on Wednesdays, but I’d argue you aren’t against a cheeky Fever Monday either, probably downing a VK while you’re there – to be honest, you wouldn’t turn down anything with alcohol in it. Any excuse not to be at your desk…

3. Devil’s Ivy

If you own this plant, I already know you have a sexy room. Partly because this is a sexy plant, but also because most people pick this plant with their room in mind. You either had a really lush first year accommodation, or the worst known to man (Old Laf), and are now compensating this year. I can’t argue that Devil’s Ivy doesn’t look divine spilling down the side of a wardrobe, but it can be a bit inconvenient to water from such a height. This tells me that while on the outside people think you’ve got yourself together, the reality is somewhat different. Secretly, I think Tuesdays are your thing, whether that be TP Salsa or Unit Cheesies, and you’re always the first one to break the seal and order tequila shots – you’re looking for any excuse to let your hair down – just like this plant.

4. Swiss cheese plant

There are two kinds of people who own Swiss cheese plants: those who bought them when they were tiny and  those who bought them when they were already huge. Either way, you’re a bit quirky, just like this plant. It’s highly probable that you listen to indie music so I’d bet money that you can be spotted at either Cavern or TP Saturdays – either absolutely hammered on rum and Coke or completely sober: you can do either. People love being around you, even if that means following you to TP on a weekend.

5. String of Pearls

If you have one of these and it’s still alive, you’re a God. I have nothing more to say on the matter except that you probably frequent The Ivy more than your own kitchen. You’re definitely the friend who pres on wine, or even Prosecco, and has finished it by the time you’re heading off – probably about to kill it at open mic night or dance the night away at a ball. Keep it up, you absolute queen.

Related stories recommended by this author:

10 easy Exeter Uni themed Halloween costumes if you still don’t have a clue what to go as

Every Supermarket’s Colin the Caterpillar matched with Exeter uni halls

The Top 10 best places to cry as an Exeter student definitively ranked from best to worst