The top 10 places to cry as an Exeter student, definitively ranked from best to worst

Providing all the breakdown inspo

Now the first few weeks of term have gotten under way, deadlines are building and the library is a thriving hub of stress – delightful. If you’re starting to feel the pressure and need to let it all out, there’s plenty of areas for you to put in your headphones and crack out the depression playlist. After some serious analysis of breakdown spot contenders, with some shameful personal experience to complete this, we’ve made the ultimate list of the top 10 places to cry on campus:

1. Reed Hall pond

If you’re a fan of a mental health walk, THIS is the place to go. The pond not only has fountains but plenty of tree cover too, so it’s really relaxing to just put in your headphones and get zen. Not only this, but it has multiple benches, meaning you can make it a group activity: breakdowns for all *cries into the pond*. Bonus: it’s a favourite place for dog walkers, so if you’re missing your pup back home, you might be lucky in getting a cuddle to soothe your sorrows.

Overall rating: 10/10

2. Arabic and Islamic studies building

What sets this building apart from the rest is the fact it’s nice and private, tucked away just before the Sports Park. Similar to Reed Hall Pond, it also has a fountain in front of the building, so if you fancy pretending you’re the star of an Adele music video, it’s ideal. It also includes a balcony, so it’s perfect for the ultimate Romeo and Juliette-esque meltdown if that’s more your thing. However, if you aren’t feeling too dramatic, there are smaller study spaces for you to sniffle into your book.

Overall rating: 9.5/10

3. The top of the Physics building

There’s nothing quite like an intense leg workout to get you to a peaceful breakdown spot. Once you get over the ridiculous amount of steps (there are lifts for those who cannot hold back their tears), you can enjoy the BANGING views from the top of the physics building. Seriously, we aren’t exaggerating. Whilst you weep, you can look over the football stadium and into the distance at the sea – well and truly stunnalicious. Also, due to the severe effort it takes to get up there, the study spaces are completely abandoned – perfect for a solo sob. Bonus: this building has free teabags and sugar so you can cry into your cuppa.

Overall rating: 8/10

4. TP toilets

If you’re partial to a drunk cry, you’re probably familiar with club toilets. We’ve chosen to exclusively include TP, simply because its so Exetah, but granted Fever is also a hot spot for drunk criers. Club toilets are undeniably an incredible spot for a breakdown: they tend to be full of hype girls who will scream at you that he isn’t worth it, and once you’re done, you can dance the pain away (and pull a rugby boy if you’re up for it). Ultimately what places this breakdown spot lower in the ratings is that it WILL mess up your makeup, and potentially ruin your mate’s night out.

Overall rating: 7.5/10

5. Sports park 

This is a perfect spot if you’re crying over a boy: you’ll be getting that post-breakup glow up whilst letting it all out over a gym session and getting your pump on. Even if you’re not, exercise is such a healthy way to keep your mental health in check and to make sure you stay on track. And if you’re really going for it, people will probably mistake those tears for general sweating. Also, if you’ve gotten into enough of a sweat, you can even save your bills and save your tears by having a shower at the gym. Bonus: there’s always some eye candy to get you through your workout.

Overall rating: 7/10

6. Chapel 

If this isn’t a rogue crying spot, I don’t know what is. Despite being a niche choice, the Chapel is really quiet and has an aesthetic surrounding of trees and green areas which are relaxing to sit at. Even if you’re not religious, you can seek your own salvation by doing some mindfulness on the green. It only loses points because if you were to actually breakdown inside the Chapel, the echo would be horrendous and disruptive – not very slay. Also, its quite far away on campus, so is it really worth it?

Overall rating: 6/10

7. Forum toilets

Where to start with this classic? It’s amazing for some alone time, where you can lock yourself away from the world inside your own cubicle. Except, that’s exactly the problem with it: the cubicles. If you’re prone to a panic when finding yourself stuck inside a cubicle, this could be a poor choice for a crying spot – if your anxiety wasn’t high enough, it certainly would be now. But what saves the rating of this area being nearer to the bottom is it’s location – centre of campus. Crying after your seminar or lecture? Crying on your way to campus? They’ve got your back.

Overall rating: 5/10

8. Pret queue

This is a terrible choice of breakdown spot. Not only is your mental health destroyed, but now your bank account is too. Also, we can guarantee that everyone you know will be in that queue, which will cause a scene. Even if you don’t know anyone in the queue, it’s so long that holding in your breakdown will have the equivalent effort of an Olympic sport. The one advantage to it is that you won’t have to cook lunch for yourself, and can instead eat the healthy godliness that is a Pret baguette.

Overall rating: 4/10

9. Forum marketplace

Almost as horrendous as Pret, but slightly worse, is this hell. Similar to Pret, it has the added shame of having a public meltdown. But, what’s even worse than this is that it’s not even boujee. You’ll probably end up spending a fortune on a hoard of depression snacks and it won’t even look as cool as the girl in the Pret queue crying with her pricey coffee. Ultimately, if you choose this public place as a breakdown spot, you will be shamed.

Overall rating: 2/10

10. Library 

This is a low. If you ever find yourself crying in the library, I am praying for you. Nothing, and I mean, NOTHING, is good about crying in this place. You will most likely be stressing over a deadline, knowing that you are yet to write a sentence, you’re hungry and all you have to keep you company is the warm RedBull in your bag. If this isn’t enough, you have to face the social anxiety of walking around the library to find a space, only to find that all the comfortable sofa seats are taken. If you get to this point, I am afraid to say you have truly hit rock bottom.

Overall rating: -1/10

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