Edi students told us about the weirdest things they’ve seen at uni

‘My flatmate asking me for moisturiser because he singed his crack hairs’

Whether through ferret or owl man, there are already plenty of weird characters wandering around Edinburgh. And that’s before you even start considering all the weird things students get up to.

There’s no better place than uni for seeing absolutely insane things, and we asked you to tell us about the weirdest things you’d seen or had happen to you around uni. And you did not disappoint. Some of these will genuinely keep me up at night.

So, keep reading to realise that the uni you attend has some absolute weirdos in it, if for some you hadn’t figured that out about Edinburgh yet.

1. I met a 50 year old bloke on a night out who carried mathematical proof of the existence of god in his pocket, we went back to Pollock and did shrooms together in the common room

Wondering whether shrooms also affected him writing that mathematical proof…

2. ‘There was a nudist in John Burnett this year’

It’s John Burnett, no surprises here.

3. ‘Had the cops called on me and was reported missing when I literally just at my boyfriend’s flat’

How long were you staying there though??

4. ‘Law lecturer pulling out toy pistols on the last day and laughing at our puzzled faces’

Unhinged Edinburgh lecturers, classic.

5. ‘Looked out my window and someone was plucking a dead pheasant’

I will bet good money this was outside Pollock.

6. ‘Someone told me they can see dead people but they could sense I had a good soul’

Well, every cloud has a silver lining.

7. ‘Twisted my ankle on some smoked salmon on Calton Hill’

I hope the salmon was from Waitrose.

8. ‘There was blood smeared on the walls of my first year accommodation’

I’m getting Harry Potter vibes.

9. ‘Drunk guy came up to me to use my phone to call 999 but started dry humping my phone’

What could be more seductive than a phone?

10. ‘Flatmate put an open packet of raw chicken in the cupboard and the juices fell through the cracks’

This is just absolutely grim.

11. ‘Girl in Pollock throwing her dildo at me in freshers’

It’s the Pollock equivalent of darts in a pub.

12. ‘Someone decided to take a dump at my party and did it on the side of the bath’

Not the poo delicately balancing on the side.

13. ‘Went to a flat that had a fermented mouse in a jar on the counter’

The perfect accompaniment to a burger, pickled mouse.

14. ‘Halls flatmate asking me for moisturiser because he tried to singe his crack hairs and burnt his balls’

So many questions.

15. ‘Flatmate paid for an oil painting of himself and hung it in our kitchen’

It’s giving Tudor.

16. ‘Someone did a poo in the middle of my corridor halls’

I actually don’t understand how people can poo so freely in public spaces.

17. ‘My lecturer meowing at us’

The only way to get a proper experience for a veterinary student.

18. ‘Being barked at by an old man going over north bridge’

He’d heard of cat calling and wanted to create his on version.

19. ‘Walking to the library at 1am and saw a man boxing his shadow alone outside Potterow’

Everything about this is cursed.

20. ‘Threw up and a random ate some and said “mmmm fettuccine” it was actually penne’

Good lord.

21. ‘Saw a guy with cat ears and tail be walked by a lady on a leash’

Probably an emotional support animal so he doesn’t have to pay rent.

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