The stereotypes of every club you’ll visit on a night out in Edinburgh

Edinburgh offers a plethora of different nights out with varying scenes, each of which attract a specific type of crowd. It can be hard to know what to expect from a night out but you can certainly get a good heads up if you know what night draws what people in. Here are the main hotspots in Edinburgh for people on a night out:

Hive

‘Relaxed club venue playing diverse music range, free entry Sunday-Thursday with cheap drinks deals’ – Nothing could be more appealing to Hive-goers. It is simply full of people who love nothing more than a good time and cheap drinks. If you can see beyond the questionable smell upon entry and the fact that you stick to the VK-soaked floor, then you’ll soon find yourself having the time of your life, just like the regulars who at the last minute slap a T-shirt on, swig from their bottle of Buckfast Tonic Wine after saying, “Fuck it, let’s go to Hive.”

(Credit: Andrew Perry)

Why Not Mondays

People who go to Why Not and love it, would without doubt die for Why Not. Freshers religiously make the weekly pilgrimage to the George Street club looking for a pull even though they slowly but surely grow tired of it. Despite that, they still love a Vodka and Coke, even though they would rather drink spirits straight in order to rush through pres and get to the club as soon as they can.

Cute (Credit: Neil Stewart Photography)

If they aren’t in the smoking area making use of the luxury sofas and outdoor heating, then they are most likely vaping in the LED room or sharing a romantic moment with a complete stranger who will be on their Snapchat story the following morning even though they’ve probably forgotten their name.

More like the L.E-G Room (Credit: Neil Stewart Photography)

Cab Vol

FLY club is the second home for all Techno-Lovers and is the only night confident enough to throw its own festival. People who go here love nothing more than going out and damaging their ear drums as they spend their long nights stood at the very front next to the speakers, looking overly indulged by the music, as though they really can feel the beat within them. They just love 126bpm.

(Credit: David Wilkinson // Empirical)

 Sneaky Pete’s

Everyone who goes to Sneaky’s feels as though they are in some sort of inner circle, taking themselves on what is said to be a smaller and more alternative night out which not many people know about. They love saying things like, “The fact it’s so small just makes for ‘a sweatier, more intense vibe'” – they long for the dehydration and cramped conditions that Sneaky Pete’s has to offer. Also, the fact that there is no cloakroom results in everyone just piling their coats up at the side nearly always resulting in something getting lost by the time the night is done.

The Big Cheese

You love the cheesy charm that this night has to offer, and you don’t care who knows it. You’ll get down extremely early on Saturday night, to beat the queues and get your wristband, then you’ll nip back to your flat to pre with you group before you back later. You have to be in by 23:00, but you really don’t care just because you the love the cheese THAT MUCH! Will they play Abba? You bloody well hope so. Will they sell VK’s? YOU BLOODY WELL HOPE SO! Have a great night you milky, milky people.

Edward VK-hands

Creme Soda 

Here you’ll find people with a stand out love of two things. The first being the privilege of having a VIP table inside the club, and the second being given the opportunity to wear a tweed blazer alongside a full suit. It’s the telltale sign of a true Creme Soda goer and they are not hard to spot once you are inside. Also, they the Creme Soda-goer more than appreciates the free merch that’s on offer.

(Credit: Matthew Thomas Photography)

Bourbon

People here cannot get enough of New Town, or the UK top 40. Being the new club in town, people tend to show up slightly overdressed with a look of class about them, but of course after a few too many of the cheap vodka-mixers, all that class will be gone as they make their way out of the club, under the wing of their reluctant mate, battling their way up the treacherous staircase in order to get out of there.

Opal Lounge

This is a bit of a dying venue now. Only a couple of years ago it was one of the most vibrant venues and popular venues in the city for students. However, people do still go with high hopes for a good night, yet to discover that it is more of a bar than a club.

Where is everyone?

Silk

Always rumoured to be closing down, it relies heavily on it’s loyal Silk goers who go along and sweat it out singing along to ‘Easy Love’ and ‘Sorry’ until the lights come up at 3am. It’s a bad one for getting a drink without having to queue for a long while but if you are looking for a ‘New Town night’ away from New Town, then Silk is the place for you.

Propaganda at Liquid Rooms

Despite the small venue, more appropriate for intimate gigs than a club night, you’re guaranteed to have a great time if you’re a fan of indie music. Constantly whacking out bangers from the Killers and the Arctic Monkeys, the music is reliably classy if that’s your thing (although they apparently played ‘All Star’ five songs in a row last week). Also known for having one of the best smoking areas in Edinburgh.