New strain of chlamydia originating in Pollock found amongst Edinburgh University students

Sexual health clinicians have observed a new strain of chlamydia found amongst Edinburgh University students that seem to be primarily coming from those at Pollock Halls.

Speaking exclusively to The Tab Edinburgh, sexual health workers revealed that the new variant of the sexually transmitted infection had been observed, following a reported decrease in the use of sexual protection among residents.

The new form of chlamydia, noted for its infectiousness, mutability and unique symptoms, has concerned sexual health care providers in the region, with one branch even reporting nearly 100 cases since September.

Iona, a nurse based in Edinburgh, said: “We work at a clinic fairly close to campus, so it makes sense that we’re seeing a lot of these cases, but I know from colleagues who work in other branches that they have had similar situations.

“It’s a knock-on effect from the pandemic, when less and less people got treated, and all these first years living in close quarters makes it a recipe for disaster.”

Allegedly, the strain is both highly mutative and distinctive, which means it keeps coming back and can show a variety of symptoms, such as increased alcohol sensitivity, though for many, it remains completely asymptomatic.

However, doctors have warned that as the disease continues to spread amongst the university’s population, mutations have been seen to develop – in many instances, people’s taste has been affected.

“I knew it was bad when I used milk as a mixer and it didn’t bother me,” said one student suffering with the condition who wished to remain anonymous.

One doctor told The Tab Edinburgh: “We call it the ‘Pollock Clap’. The best people can do is just take the antibiotics and, if they feel any bizarre symptoms come on, go straight to the clinic.”

April, a first year student from Pollock Halls, said: “I’m not surprised – it’s basically the new Freshers’ Flu. Everyone’s got it.”

You should probably check the date, you April fools!

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