Durham One Sex Survey Results

In the Durham One lab we’ve been working night and day examining the data from our recent sex survey. Over 500 of you kindly responded. The answers have been collated. The results are in and we can exclusively reveal that you’re all FILTHY human beings! The One sincerely hopes that some of you may have been telling porkies as otherwise it’s a grim future for us all.

Here is Durham behind closed doors (or not as the case may be…):

10%

of respondents have at one stage in their life had an STI while a staggering 78% knew someone else who had. The most sexually unhealthy college? Those filthmongers in Collingwood with almost 1 in 8 of their respondents having had to visit a clinic.

13%

of you dirtboxes have engaged in S&M. It would seem that some of Durham’s gilet wearing glitterati use whips for practices other than horse-riding, and dog collars for purposes other than their black labs. Trevelyanites at 22% are a particularly sordid bunch.

50%

of you have devoted an entire day on God’s green earth to hanky panky. No lectures. No sport. Just bumping uglies.

42%

are love rats. Quite simply, almost half of respondents are slimey dirtbags who’d bin their own mother for some coitus. Cheating scum.

16%

are so depraved that they’ve been involved in some form of jiggery pokery in one of Durham’s nightspots. 6% of you need help: you copped off in Klute. The most exhibitionist college? Mary’s with 24% not being able to wait to get home.

This is just a selection of results. Do you have anything that you have to find out? Comment below and popular suggestions will be researched from our sexy data.

(Please note this is an unscientific survey and results should be taken with a pinch, nay a handful, of salt)