All the things you’ll notice on a sober night out in Cov

Going on a sober night out happens to the best of us. The struggle of when pre's are at 8 and your lectures finish at 6 but you still need to shower and make dinner. Face it, you can't be bothered to play catch up when all your friends are smashed so guess what, you're on a sober night out.

There are a number of reasons that you end up on a sober night out however here you are sober, in the middle of the club, wondering how the hell you got there. Believe me you're going to see some things you can't unsee. Buckle up kids because here is the cold hard truth.

Drunk people are even more hilarious when you're the only sober one

You're awake, you're alert and you're questioning everything your pals are doing. Your best mate is doing the worm across the dance floor. Another is hanging over the barrier screaming at the DJ to play Beyonce's "Halo" simultaneously inhaling VKs.

Drunk you see's this as totally normal. But when you're full blown sober all you can think about is the fact you've seen your pal slam their body against a Jäger bomb covered floor. WOOPS. Looks like it's time to grab my phone and Snapchat the entire thing for the squad groupchat.

You have officially got through a night out without any alcohol-induced injuries at all

The mysterious bruises from being took out by the steps down to smokers just don't exist. You're happily surprised to find your legs in tact the next day.

But you do notice some absolutely horrific falls. People stacking it with arm fulls of shots but being too drunk to notice they've lost 3 shots for £5 to the unbeatable forces of gravity.

The club sing- a -long is like death by sound

The club is peaking but you aren't. Its 2am and the DJ has took the big decision to slyly mix Drake into The Killers. How they've done this, is a question I cannot answer. But everyone LOVES IT.

They have their hands in the air- belting out these weird remixes and you only wish, with these lyrics in mind, that they could see and feel the painful concussion your soft ears are suffering. But you have to give them points for originality and self expression.

Being chatted up when you're sober is TOO AWKWARD.

Please don't ask for my Instagram, please just leave me alone.

You even start to act slightly drunk just to make it more bearable, more normal and not at all awks. But the slurred words and not so gentle swaying of the poor soul leaning against your shoulder, leaves you to question how we communicate drunk, if at all.

It's just too questionable and you're not feeling the bold invite to 'afters'. You're already mentally picturing your K Rush and comfy bed.

You end up being the therapist on nights out when your mates are having life drama

Thing is, they're too bev'd to appreciate your spot on advice and in detail counselling session in the Kasbah three person loo. You will become that friend that begins dishing out life advice and there really is no escaping it.

You know they won't remember your banging advice in the morning so instead, you switch to wiping away the mascara and telling your pissed up pal that they're still fit. This way your drunk pals can take the compliment even when they're completely intoxicated.

You start to notice things in the club you have NEVER seen before

Did you know there's two GIANT fans at the back of Kazzy B? Yeah me neither but what an absolute life saver. And the the lady in the club toilets actually has a FANTASTIC range of slightly out of date perfumes. Highly recommend if you're a smoker or your entire body just stinks of voddy.

There's post boxes outside the club that you didn't know existed. And there's even expired taxi numbers posted up by the mirrors? They would be handy if we could actually use them.

You look decent in all the pics

One of the benefits of being sober is actually remembering how your face muscles work. No more worrying about what's going to be uploaded to the club Facebook page the following week or having to archive Insta's of you looking fully mashed.

You actually come out with some cute pics, apply a VSCO filter to them and pass them off as 'artsy/ edgy.' No more cringing at yourself on Snapchat the next day. You know you look fit in all the pics because you actually remember taking them.

You're the designated driver/ mom friend

You've been subjected to the 'Don't vom in my car' threat so many times but this time, you're the one giving the threat. You're the one that's nervously driving home whilst your friend is aggressively hiccuping in the back seat. Maybe this is how Cov Uber drivers feel ever Monday who knows.

If you're not the driver you're 100% the mom friend for the night. You're finally the one that's dragging your friend out of the club rather than the one that's being dragged out. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Overall you'll feel ENLIGHTENED

You've had a laugh at some questionable dance moves, witnessed people pulling left right and centre in the weirdest manner- but it's a grand sight. You're looking good, feeling good and you might even be hydrated? Your pics bang the next day and you DO in fact make it to lectures.

Your phone and bank card is in one piece and overall life in tact. You've not sent any texts you regret, your Snapchat story isn't videos of you face deep in a kebab or attempting to climb a fence into someone else's garden on the way home.

Maybe this sober night out thing isn't so bad after all, honestly how can you go wrong?