Cambridge University colleges as songs with women’s names in the title

I don’t profess to have intimate knowledge of any Cambridge Colleges, so disclaimer: This is going off of pure vibes (and architecture).

This first song was a toss-up between Trinity and Kings, so I assigned it to both: Lady Lynda by the Beach Boys. I mean, just listen to the opening of the song – it sounds so regal and both these colleges slap you in the face with regal.

Most colleges I gave their own songs, but for Clare Hall, Darwin, Hughes Hall and St Edmund’s, which are either solely postgraduate or have mature students, it just makes sense that they are Stacy’s Mom by Fountains of Wayne (it hurt to type “Mom”).

Next up is Corpus Christi. It is purely because of the Corpus Clock that they are being branded as Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean. Billie Jean is a crazy attention seeker and, correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t think there exists a more attention-seeking clock than the Corpus Clock. This means Corpus could also be Maria by Justin Bieber.

The Corpus Clock

Being the oldest college, Dear Prudence by the Beatles is perfect for Peterhouse. The name Prudence suggests age and the wallpaper in the Peterhouse JCR reminds you of an old people’s home, so the two suit each other quite nicely.

Peterhouse

Girton, due to its location reminds me of another Beatles song: Eleanor Rigby. The building, like Eleanor Rigby, is definitely lonely due to its distance from the other colleges.

This next one is rogue, but Sidney Sussex pairs best with Helena by My Chemical Romance. It is the college where chaotic stuff happens to it. Last term it caught fire – which works really well for the opening of the song –  and it’s got Oliver Cromwell’s head, like?!?!?

Emmanuel College feels most like Layla by Derek and the Dominos. This is because the college, like the song, has a bit of everything. Most things are just on its doorstep and it has a pool, an underground tunnel etc …

The pretty gardens of Newnham result in it being paired with Heather by Conan Gray, whereas, Clare College, mainly because of Clare Cellars, feels best represented by Roxanne by the Police.

Gonville and Caius, because its architecture makes it seem like its own small, gentle, little world, is matched with Margaret by Lana Del Rey (when you know, you know – and I just knew).

Gonville and Caius

Selwyn gets Mandy by Barry Manilow, as the college provides sweet relief from the brutalist architecture of the Sidgewick Site, which is what Mandy does for Barry.

Jesus is Jolene by Dolly Parton. The song is about a woman who can steal Dolly’s man easily and I feel like Jesus could steal anyone with their ridiculously cheap fry-ups.

St John’s is Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac and Queens is Valerie by Amy Winehouse. I don’t have much reasoning for these last two – I like both colleges, I like both songs.

St John’s

Finally, Homerton. At first, I thought Vickie by Peach Pit, as we are always thinking about what life would be like if we lived right down the street from town, but this didn’t seem right. I wanted to avoid a basic choice, but unfortunately, no other song made sense. Homerton is a crowd-pleaser and so gets Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners.

What I have found in taking on this great scientific endeavour is that making a playlist of songs with women’s names in the title results in quite a good playlist with lots of range. Professing or expressing your love (or hate) for a woman can be done, it seems, in many genres. 

Feature Image Credits: Ellen Hawley

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