How to recreate a Mainsbury’s Trip from Home
Missing Mainsbury’s just want her back x
Residing in the distant lands of Homerton, a trip to Mainsbury’s isn’t just a quick nip to the shops, it’s the EVENT of the week (as well as a cure for my wanderlust). And right now, so is my weekly essentials shop.
The parade of college puffers, the silent-and-socially-distanced showdown between you and ****** from Sunday Life… it’s all one big adventure that I’m seriously craving right now.
Here are some steps that I took to romanticise my essentials shop at home like a Mainsbury’s trip.
1. Get suited and booted in college stash
To start it off, let’s lay all our cards on the table. Going to Mainsbury’s is really about being the next Bread Aisle Beauty on Crushbridge, so it’s important to be looking and feeling your best. I even washed my hair for this!
So when you’re shopping at home, make sure you opt for college stash. What was once my shining Mainsbury’s armour ended up being dashed to the back of my wardrobe for the holidays. I couldn’t be seen recklessly sporting that Cambridge puffer in my hometown, but now I’m a main character and i’m going for it!
2. Cycle or walk to your local Sainsbury’s just to feel that extra thrill
Maybe work yourself up slightly on your journey by thinking of impending deadlines or how much more prep your supo partner does than you. By the time you’re at your local Sainsbury’s, you should be suitably on edge, just as if you’re in cam!
Maybe you’ll even have that ‘just-about-keeping-a-lid-on-it’ look that we all seem to have during term.
3. Be a BNOC in the Sainsbury’s Queue
Pick a random stranger to smile and nod at in the queue outside Sainsbury’s, and then mutter in hushed tones to anyone that will listen that you know them from Femsoc.
4. Send dramatic Snapchats to the group chat
It is of vital importance that you keep The Group-Chat up to date on all your fateful encounters. If you have to experience bumping into ****** from hockey in the cheese section, you have to report back.
5. Linger mysteriously in the long-life milk aisle
In Mainsbury’s, the longer you linger, the greater chance you have of ensnaring that Crushbridge.
Make sure that in your local Sainsbury’s you cast some wistful glances to the side, or ruminate over the oat milk.
6. Go in for bread and butter, leave with wine and cheese
Because those are truly the essentials.
Don’t forget to make a BIG DEAL out of the fact that the cashier won’t accept your camcard as a valid form of ID on your way out.
I may not have been physically in Cambridge, but for an hour or two today I was definitely in Mainsbury’s. It’s about time we all did something to curb that Cambridge withdrawal while stocking up on essentials like all nighter snacks.
Time to refresh Crushbridge for the next few days.
All images are author’s own.