QUIZ: Which Cambridge night out are you?
Answer these questions and uncover your true self…
1. What's your staple night out style?
A) Anything from Missguided's 'Jeans and a nice top' range (honestly, they are lifesavers)
B) An oversized band T-shirt that proudly bears stains from previous nights out as battle scars – evidence of glory
C) Vintage threads infused with sweat, shame, and unidentifiable chemicals
D) The most colourful, irradescent, and sparkly outfit I can find – some call it gaudy, I call it fabulous
E) A Hawaiian shirt and rose-tinted Elton John glasses
2. Where do you pre?
A) The JCR or college bar
B) My mate's room
C) An alleyway (we can't get portered outside)
D) Spoons (2 for £12 pitchers babe, can't pass that up)
E) On the journey
3. The first drink you buy is…?
A) 3 blue VKs to drink as I boogie
B) 5 jägerbombs to down at the bar
C) A plastic waterbottle filled with a mysteriously dark, alcoholic substance that I smuggled in
D) A fruity cocktail when I'm feeling sweet, or a G&T when I'm feeling salty
E) Vodka and coke, of course
4. What song is always the banger of the night?
A) Mr Brightside (The Killers)
B) Man's Not Hot (Big Shaq)
C) The entire night is one big 'banger'
D) Anything Gaga. Everything Gaga.
E) Boogie Wonderland (Earth, Wind & Fire)
5. Your dancing can only be described as…?
A) A kid at a year 8 school disco with a dash of sex appeal (lots of jumping, the occasional booty shake)
B) Rhythmic bobbing (with a raised arm if I'm really getting into it)
C) Trippy stumbling
E) Funky fresh
6. Your post-night-out ritual is?
A) Ordering Van of Life cheesy chips to be wholly consumed before returning to college
B) I always have to piss in the street after leaving a club
C) Pop two paracetamol and roll straight into my morning lectures
D) Cheeky kebab and a glass of water
E) Wipe my face, brush my teeth, and go to sleep (not to be woken until at least 3pm)
Mostly As: Wednesday Cindies. A standard Cambridge clubber, you're a bit basic. You can always be found in a lacy bodysuit and ripped jeans. You get excited whenever the DJ plays '00s throwbacks or Disney (but you love anything on the charts) and you can't get enough of a light up dancefloor. Wednesday Cindies – or pretty much any other regular club night in Cambridge – is for you.
Mostly Bs: Tuesday Fez. You think the Cambridge nightlife is too vanilla and mainstream (although you secretly love songs from the Top 40). If a club event advertises itself as 'grime', 'trap', or 'alternative', you're sold. You prefer an authentic dingy scene, with people trying to sell you things in the loos – somewhere with a sense of danger but with the security of being in central Cambridge. Fez is your place.
Mostly Cs: Turf all-nighter. Never out of wavy garms or vintage leisurewear, you fully commit to a night out. It's all about the DJs, the beat, and the vibe. With a laissez-faire attitude to substances and the stamina to last all night, you are a wild card. Go to a Turf all-nighter and make the most of that 6AM licensing agreement.
Mostly Ds: Glitterbomb. You can't get enough of glitter bodypaint. You scream whenever you hear Madonna. You are armed with a full repertoire of dance moves 24/7. Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or yet to make up your mind, Glitterbomb is the event to be extra. Frequented by stars from Ru Paul's Drag Race and absolute icons like Gemma Collins, it is a place for love, acceptance, and sheer sass.
Mostly Es: Grandma Groove. A little rogue but always up for a laugh, you love to dress up as a granny and get binned. You're an old soul who can only get down to some classic funk. Make sure to buy your ticket in advance because this event is like golddust – Grandma Groove is your place.