FOWL PLAY: Cambridge to take on aggressive swans

Just ducking around or solving an actual problem?

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Aggressive swans have apparently become too much of a problem for regular users of the River Cam, with the decision being made to have a patrol boat monitoring the situation. 

The patrol boat will also monitor punt wars and illegal boaters, and the Conservators of the River Cam have allocated £10,000 for the new project.

Thankfully these fowl attacks will soon be prevented

Thankfully these fowl attacks will soon be prevented

It has been said the boat will block angry swans during boat races, where many a poor boatie has reported feelings of paranoia.

One traumatised rower told The Tab, ‘One time an angry swan chased us down the river. We were all really tired and the swan was really fast and it almost caught up to us, it was terrifying. That swan has haunted my dreams – I am glad that Cambridge are taking the problem of aggressive swans seriously as it is an issue that plagues many boaties and that we like to moan about. It is money well spent.’

Without angry swans what else will boaties moan about? Oh that's right, everything.

Without angry swans what else will boaties moan about? Oh that’s right, everything.

The Conservators of the Cam are currently asking for suggestions for the name of the boat. Vote below for what you think it should be called: