Vacation storage crackdown after College ‘lost the plot’

Traditionally egalitarian King’s is cracking down hard on students who help friends by storing belongings in their rooms

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Have you decided to store stuff in a friend’s room at King’s College over Christmas? If so, you might not see it again.

And you might possibly be deaned.

In an uncharacteristically inegalitarian manner, King’s has commanded bedders to crack down on items “that clearly do not belong to the student to whom the room is assigned.”

These were the strict words of the Lay Dean, Dr Paul Ryan, who has promised to take “disciplinary action” against anyone who ignores the rule.

The Lay Dean here is otherwise known as Scrooge

Dr Ryan’s warning was provoked by the revelation that King’s students have been offering publicly to provide storage in their college rooms during the coming vacation to other students.

Apparently, this is not only a serious “security” issue, but also an absolute horror for housekeeping, which will have to negotiate “the obstacles encountered while cleaning rooms.”

Such a zealous response by the college has sparked outrage among King’s students, several of whom are members of the ‘Whose University?’ organisation.

A “security” risk

A senior member of ‘Whose University?’ an organisation recently set up to help students who find vacation arrangements difficult, told The Tab: “This email simply serves to reinforce the very need for the ‘Whose University?’ campaign in the first place – we have no ownership over the place we call our home.

“We rent out our rooms and yet have no freedom to decide how we want to use them.

“They treat us like customers, like products, and like children. It’s time we showed them we are none of these things.”

Another King’s student slammed the “email from the Lay Dean [as] disgusting.

“If I wanted to help a friend out by giving them some storage, I should be able to do so.

“King’s has lost the plot”.


What will King’s students do about such oppression: turn to their roots and revolt? Or will College authorities eventually come to their senses? It’s Christmas after all.