Elly Booth – I fancy you
ELLY BOOTH really fancies you. Or at least she wishes she did. Cuz that would be more exciting.
My Valentine’s night resulted in a box of chocolates, a bottle of champagne and Romeo and Juliet on DVD.
It’s week 5 and I’ve just about reached perfection. A cheeky text reading “Happy Birthday my little porn star xoxo” had totally scuppered my plans. (Don’t read into that because unless he has spiked my drink at some point, I have NO idea what he was on about).
So after watching Love kill off two ridiculously talented actors I took to bed, swiped on the Ipad and read Cosmo (intellectual reading choice I know). It was the ‘Inside Men’s Minds’ issue and had an article about dating your high-school ‘crush’.
I had a lot of high-school crushes but one in particular sticks in my mind.
Girls with crushes aren’t exactly the sanest creatures in the world
This specimen was my infatuation for about a month when I was fourteen. He was older. He played rugby. He had a pretty face and broad shoulders. He was the ‘lad’. Anyway, we acted together and would go to parties and the like, but I was the younger awkward girl who would probably stare at him too long. You all know the girl I mean.
So last summer I was in my local club and dancing along to some Rihanna when he came up behind me. It was all “Hi, you look hawttt”. (Please imagine the slurring). The fourteen year old girl returned and I was hooked. He could have turned into the ugliest man in the world and it wouldn’t have changed a thing. I was like putty in his hands. Hanging off every single word.
So anyway we did the whole normal ‘boy+girl+club’ thing. (I don’t think I really should add another ‘kiss and tell’ to this column – Hi Dad). At least, we did the ‘boy+girl+club’ thing until the vodbulls finally started wearing off because I started listening to him.
“You’ve got big boobs and you go to Cambridge”. “You’ve got big boobs and you go to Cambridge”.
This line was repeated again and again. I tried to block it out but it didn’t work. Then a girl grabbed me back to reality. “Elly what the fuck are you doing?”
It was simple. The guy in front of me hadn’t only stopped growing when I was fourteen but he was also now a massive tool.
However much I was enjoying fulfilling a teenage fantasy, this guy was not a good kisser and his main reason for getting me was my chest. (Okay I know that is why most guys get with a girl but at least they try – and normally fail – to cover it up).
I was getting with him because my 14 year old self decided he was the hottest guy ever. Twenty year old Elly, however, doesn’t agree so much. This guy wasn’t me anymore. He just didn’t live up to the fantasy.
So when this article threw me back in time I wondered: why don’t we get crushes anymore? I might be completely alone on this but when is the last time you were infatuated with someone you barely knew?
Obviously there are people you think are hot out there, but the moment they walk out of the room they often vanish from our mind too. It isn’t like when you were twelve and you would play those games. The ones where you wrote their name in one area and a country in the other. Then your friend would draw a spiral till you shouted ‘stop’.
Anyone else know the game I am talking about?
The thing is I think I kind of miss it. Miss being infatuated with the idea of someone. Miss talking to your friends about Mr ‘Two-years-above-and-divine’ Grahams or whatever. It is just a bit of a disappointment.
Hopefully now your crush resembles this instead.
So anyway I hope you all have a Happy Monday and if there are any of you with a crush out there, why not grab them next time?
Because when you bump into them on the tube in three years’ time, you don’t want a ‘You’ve got big boobs and you work at Goldman’ now do you? Xx