VOMERTON

Homerton bops are on thin ice after repeated naughtiness throughout the year.

In an email sent to undergraduates, college Dean Philip Stephenson and JCR President Greg Hill criticised the students for their “yobbish behaviour.”

They cited vandalism, vomiting and even an assault. One Homertonian smashed a mirror with a golf club and another bottled a PGCE student.

Hapless chundering students have repeatedly found it difficult to limit their excesses to the toilets. College staff came in one Sunday morning to find “kitchens and corridors awash with vomit.” Some students allege that the decision to get a bouncy castle at the last bop made tummy rumblings an inevitability.

Looks pretty harmless to us

The college are on red alert ahead of the term’s final bop this Thursday. The college are particularly concerned by what they describe as “pre-loading” and have told students that anyone who is obviously drunk will not be permitted entry.

The email, which was leaked to The Tab, goes on to say: “HUS stewards have been advised to adhere strictly to this policy and will have the back-up of professional security.”

Evacuate the dancefloor

Greg Hill said the authorities wanted “to remind students that having a bop is a two way agreement between students and the college.” He was also keen to stress that not all the students were to blame, informing The Tab that “the college have been unhappy at a small minority of students’ behaviour.” He went on to encourage these students to have “a bit more respect for their college” in future.

Rumours of whether The Tab chose to run this story just to use the headline ‘VOMERTON’ are unconfirmed.