William & Kate: Let Love Rule

Directed by Mark Rosman

[rating:5/5]

Despite what anyone may tell you, William and Kate: Let Love Rule is an excellent piece of cinema. It would be all too easy to pick out the faults in this cinematic masterpiece: the acting, the direction, and the gross factual inaccuracies to name but a few. Instead, I’m going to focus on the positives. And so should you.

Firstly, the director’s ambition must be commended. The decision to shoot an entire 88-minute film in just 19 days, and set a story that is predominantly based in Scotland in LA, was ambitious if nothing else. You might be wondering how LA and Scotland look even remotely similar. In short: they don’t. But, the director cleverly chopped up the film with random long shots of St Andrew’s University and London. Sneaky.

Secondly, the director must be applauded for his vision: a vision so great that he didn’t mind if the stuff in the film simply wasn’t true. The opening scene involves Charles and William pacing the corridors of St Andrews. Charles turns to William and says: “You’re so lucky to be here. I never had the chance to go to university.” Cambridge, anyone? I think that’s what they call poetic license.

The director also has an excellent understanding of his audience. As mentioned, the film lasts 88 minutes. When it got to minute 87, I’ll admit, I was starting to lose interest/the will to live. Luckily, the director saw this coming, and picked up the pace. The first 87 minutes of this film follow Kate and William’s three years at university. The 88th minute covers their graduation, Kate’s first job, Will’s entire military career, the three year long break up, the make up, and the marriage proposal. All in one minute. Pithy.

And his playing with time doesn’t stop there. The highly anticipated catwalk scene (which allegedly marks the moment Will fell in love with Kate) did not disappoint. Alonside showing Kate walk down the catwalk, he delighted us with 10 or 11 random women wearing some other random dresses. Not characters, just extras. For a whole 10 minutes.

You might also think that a film about two fairly boring people meeting and falling in love may be, well, fairly boring. Think again.  This film contains plenty of comedy value. First and foremost, there’s Harry. Now, Harry only makes one appearance in this film, but it’s a good ‘un. He’s played by a scrawny ginger kid who, for no obvious reason, speaks with a strong Scottish-Chinese accent. Didn’t know that existed? Neither did I.

The quality of acting in this film is generally sub-standard. However, the guy who plays Derek is simply brilliant. You may have never heard of Derek, but let me assure you that he is excellent. Derek, William’s BBF, plays the role of a sexual predator-cum-annoying twat who follows WillCat around, and looks like a grumpy bear. Genius

This film is nothing if not consistent. William only owns one white t-shirt. About half way through the film, Derek (silly Derek) turns it pink in the wash. William spends the rest of the film wearing a pink t-shirt. What’s more, in the first 5 minutes, William and Kate go for a run, and attempt to lose the bodyguards who (and I quote) “are always there; it’s quite annoying really.” The next time we see the bodyguards is two years later.

But, the highlight of the entire film has to be the bit before the end. And not for obvious reasons. This scene involves Kate rowing (except she’s standing upright in an oversized canoe), and William shouting at her from the riverside. He wants to talk to her. And even though Kate is in a mode of transport specifically designed to move on water, she does not row/canoe to him. Instead, she swims. Of course she swims.

All in all, a piece of experimental cinema that toys with the boundaries of what actually happened in actual life and what might have happened in someone’s quite boring dream. Yes, it’s shit. But it is oddly compelling.