Newnham Nookie

Newnham students have received a JCR email with a difference – telling them not to have NOISY SEX late at night.

The email, sent by President Lizzy Cole, a star member of the college’s University Challenge team, started with a message of thanks, before moving onto steamier issues.

“Good morning lovely ladies of Newnham”, it begins.

“Welcome to what looks to be another good week.

“This is just a very quick thank you to everyone for being considerate of your neighbours.

“However, I'd just like to politely remind everyone that Newnham corridors funnel sound and walls are very thin in some buildings.

“Therefore, please remember to be discrete [sic] in your activities, especially during late/ early hours of the day.”

The reaction at Newnham was one of amusement.

“When I read the email I cringed”, said a second-year classicist.

“I thought it must refer to me!”

One Homerton Nat-Sci lothario offered some penetrating analysis of the issue.

“I’m not surprised”, he said.

“That place is a nightmare to escape from when drunk.

“And as for the walls, I thought I was going to break them at one point!”

This isn’t the first time students have received a questionable note from the authorities.

Earlier this year, Durham students were surprised to discover a spoof note warning them not to masturbate in the communal showers.

But sources at Newnham have assured The Tab the email is more than a tease.