Alasdair Pal

St John’s May Ball

ALASDAIR PAL on our highest-ranking ball ever. The first verdict from a reviewer who didn’t leave halfway through.

Heston’s Mission Impossible

ALASDAIR PAL: “To call Mission Impossible food porn would be an insult to porn”.

OK! TV and Extraordinary Dogs

ALASDAIR PAL watches Channel Five so you don’t have to.

Here’s what you can do to help your friend struggling with depression

According to a trained psychotherapist

Sponsored

Louis Theroux: Ultra-Zionists

“It would be hilarious if the situation wasn’t so grave.” ALASDAIR PAL on Louis Theroux’s latest offering.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl

ALASDAIR PAL: ‘Billie Piper spends most of her time gurning up to her ears, like a botoxed chimp trying to blag its way out of animal testing’.

Tab Tries: Stripping Off for Cash

“It looks a bit like a scene from Antiques Roadshow, except I appear on half the antiques.” ALASDAIR PAL goes life modelling.

Tool Academy and Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents

ALASDAIR PAL: “Chalk this one up as a victory for tools and teenagers everywhere.”

Deaned!: Cambridge Discipline Uncovered, Part 2

We promised you the full files, and now, The Tab presents some of the strangest deanings Cambridge has ever seen: including hamsters, police dogs, a casino and plenty of vomit.

Deaned!: Cambridge Discipline Uncovered, Part 1

How transparent is college and University discipline? Not very, as it turns out. In the first of a two-part series, we explore how the system works, and how YOU have been dealt with.

Summer Blogs: Spice, Rice and All Things Nice

6/9: ALASDAIR PAL and LOTTIE UNWIN investigate just why every Indian wants their picture with them

Why Not Review: Blogs

Eleven easy ways to waste away half an hour – The Tab team’s favourite blogs.

Out of Joint

Bank bosses were forced to take action yesterday after customers complained the stench of CANNABIS was putting them off their transactions.

Gavin’ A Laugh?: Top Toff Tries It On In Fake (F)email

Gavin Rice, ex-head of the Cambridge student Tory Party has been attacked after sending a hoax email to the Labour Women’s Officer – pretending to be a woman.

Let’s Sheikh Hands: Arab Billionaire Among Donors

A table tennis obsessed Sheikh is among the cast of eccentric and unsavoury characters donating to the 800th Anniversary Fund.

Newnham Nookie

Newnham students have received a JCR email with a difference – telling them not to have NOISY SEX late at night.

May Balls Up

Confusion has struck the planning of many May Balls, with a number of colleges choosing identical themes.

Furious George

George Owers, head of CULC, has sensationally accused the Russell Group of spinning ‘outrageous lies and misrepresentation’.

‘Morning After The Night Before’ For Uni

Staff and students have lashed out at Gordon Brown’s proposed £2.5 BILLION cut in higher education spending.

Floating Voter

A French witch, first seen in the The Tab in October, now plans to stand in the next election.

Spew Year’s Heave

After a term of student excess, Cambridge locals reclaimed the city centre on New Year’s Eve, with a shocking display of drinking.