Alasdair Pal

Alasdair Pal
Cambridge University


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St John’s May Ball

ALASDAIR PAL on our highest-ranking ball ever. The first verdict from a reviewer who didn’t leave halfway through.

Exclusive: TCS Editor Resigns

The Tab understands that the TCS board has accepted Philip Brook’s resignation after their Editor admitted making a “serious lapse of judgement”.

TCS News Editor Under Fire After ‘Racist’ Slur

A senior TCS journalist is facing calls to resign – after making a ‘racist’ joke about a CUSU Student Support candidate.

Heston’s Mission Impossible

ALASDAIR PAL: “To call Mission Impossible food porn would be an insult to porn”.

OK! TV and Extraordinary Dogs

ALASDAIR PAL watches Channel Five so you don’t have to.

Louis Theroux: Ultra-Zionists

“It would be hilarious if the situation wasn’t so grave.” ALASDAIR PAL on Louis Theroux’s latest offering.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl

ALASDAIR PAL: ‘Billie Piper spends most of her time gurning up to her ears, like a botoxed chimp trying to blag its way out of animal testing’.

Tab Tries: Stripping Off for Cash

“It looks a bit like a scene from Antiques Roadshow, except I appear on half the antiques.” ALASDAIR PAL goes life modelling.

Human Planet – Deserts: Life in the Furnace

ALASDAIR PAL: “If only there were a way to turn John Hurt off”.

Tool Academy and Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents

ALASDAIR PAL: “Chalk this one up as a victory for tools and teenagers everywhere.”

Chase and Status

ALASDAIR PAL: ‘“IT’S DIZZEE FUCKING RASCAL!”…Except it isn’t…Chase and Status grin behind their samplers like a pair of pasty bookends.”

Deaned!: Cambridge Discipline Uncovered, Part 2

We promised you the full files, and now, The Tab presents some of the strangest deanings Cambridge has ever seen: including hamsters, police dogs, a casino and plenty of vomit.

Deaned!: Cambridge Discipline Uncovered, Part 1

How transparent is college and University discipline? Not very, as it turns out. In the first of a two-part series, we explore how the system works, and how YOU have been dealt with.

The Only Thing You Should Be Watching

ALASDAIR PAL enjoys the vajazzle, vodka, and voluminous breasts – but, in reality, the scripted dialogue of The Only Way Is Essex leaves much to be desired.

Revealed: How We Hoaxed TCS

We’ve done over The Sun and the BNP, but ALASDAIR PAL’s TCS gem from February has never been revealed. Until now…

Where Are All The Lesbians?: The Tab Surveys The Freshers

A Tab survey of this year’s freshers has uncovered a number of surprising findings…

Summer Blogs: Spice, Rice and All Things Nice

6/9: ALASDAIR PAL and LOTTIE UNWIN investigate just why every Indian wants their picture with them

Review: Newnham June Event

ALASDAIR PAL: ‘Newnham got the Big Decisions right: a well-executed theme over a big headline act; plentiful drink over quality and outrageous queues; and the ability to get a square foot of henna inked across your face.’

LIVE BLOG: May Ball Lineups

EXCLUSIVE: A couple of last minute teasers by Sidney and King’s complete most of the line-ups.

Downing Scrape Past Homerton in Cuppers Thriller

Downing scrape past the heavy-drinking Homerton on penalties to advance to the final.

The Bass Race: May Week Gets Low-End Injection

May Week is shaping up to be the most bass-heavy in history, thanks to a number of earth-shuddering acts revealed exclusively by The Tab.

Out of Joint

Bank bosses were forced to take action yesterday after customers complained the stench of CANNABIS was putting them off their transactions.

Gavin’ A Laugh?: Top Toff Tries It On In Fake (F)email

Gavin Rice, ex-head of the Cambridge student Tory Party has been attacked after sending a hoax email to the Labour Women’s Officer – pretending to be a woman.

Let’s Sheikh Hands: Arab Billionaire Among Donors

A table tennis obsessed Sheikh is among the cast of eccentric and unsavoury characters donating to the 800th Anniversary Fund.

Newnham Nookie

Newnham students have received a JCR email with a difference – telling them not to have NOISY SEX late at night.

May Balls Up

Confusion has struck the planning of many May Balls, with a number of colleges choosing identical themes.

Furious George

George Owers, head of CULC, has sensationally accused the Russell Group of spinning ‘outrageous lies and misrepresentation’.

‘Morning After The Night Before’ For Uni

Staff and students have lashed out at Gordon Brown’s proposed £2.5 BILLION cut in higher education spending.

Spew Year’s Heave

After a term of student excess, Cambridge locals reclaimed the city centre on New Year’s Eve, with a shocking display of drinking.

Basket Case

Lily Cole will now be walking around Cambridge – after thieves made off with her £600 bike.

Wheely Good

A new seven-inch single featuring lyrics by Cambridge legend Stephen Hawking has been released today. Listen and Download here!

Cage Rage

The Cambridge branch of Amnesty International camped out on King’s lawns this weekend, in protest at the treatment of Burmese democracy campaigners.

What A Cult

A French wiccan has sparked panic in Cambridge over plans to open an occult centre in the city, and target University students.

Louis La Roche Doesn’t Hit Fitz

Gonville and Sneeze

A Caius student has been placed under quarantine after contracting swine flu…

Turd Class Honours

Girton students have been banned from Emma Bar, after FAECES was found in a passage nearby.