The self-checkout machines in Morrisons on Whiteladies Road are evil

You better self-checkout yo self before you wreck yo self

‘Unexpected item in bagging area’ – five words we all dread. Five words that echo through the Morrisons on Whiteladies Road as regularly as the second hand ticks on a watch.

Using self-checkouts can be a traumatic experience for anyone. The self-checkout machines in Morrisons make it traumatic for everyone.

Inside: a monster lurks

Despite already being on the lowest rung in supermarket hierarchy, Morrisons have not helped themselves by offering a service they have the sheer cheek to call a “self-checkout”.

Dropping the “self” would be more appropriate given the shop assistant does the whole “checkout” for you.

This could take a while…

These self-checkouts are wicked beasts: refusing to scan, patronising you and screaming abuse in that hideous robotic monotone – it’s almost like they don’t want you to come back.

Don’t worry Morrisons I won’t be.

Another day, another malfunction, another person traumatised

In my most recent visit I was met with no bags, five counts of “unexpected item in bagging area” and had to be helped twice by the very friendly man in the picture above.

I was only buying a pint of milk and some chewing gum.

When I asked another Morrisons employee on the state of the self-checkout system he declined to comment saying he was too busy but the look in his eyes told me he knew what I was getting at only too well: these machines are evil.