We rated the best and worst pancakes of Selly

The happiest time of year is upon us… Pancake Day


Some Selly students have pulled it out of the bag with their creations, others not so much.

I’ll be honest, some of you need lessons in grace and decorum because these pancakes have all the grace of a reversing dump truck.

I’m all about no filter, so these pancakes may be a bit different to what you’re seeing across your social media today #real.

A vegan WHAT? – 1/10

To call this a pancake would just be offensive. It certainly lacks structural integrity. However, because it is so tragic, it does deserve a pity point.

The gold/blue dress saga all over again – 2/10

Whilst this pancake has a good heart and I can see the personal touches, my brain cannot comprehend what is on this plate. It’s giving me a headache.

A bit concerning… – 5/10

This takes me back to the German markets in Brum, it’s weirdly nostalgic. But do not let this distract you from the fact that there are three large sausages on this plate – on pancake day, embarrassing really.

A classy QUEEN – 8/10

That drizzle is like something you see on Bake Off. The elegance yet simplicity of this pancake makes it somewhat heavenly. My only criticism is it’s a bit dry on the sides, but hey-ho you can’t please everyone.

Positive vibes only xo – 11/10

An accurate representation of UoB students’ mental wellbeing right now…

Let’s take this one as our daily serotonin boost, something we could all do with right now.

Plain Jane – 2/10

This is giving me ‘idiot sandwich’ vibes. Minimal effort with the ham and cheese and it is about as dry as a two hour live lecture on Zoom.

The American dream – 6/10

Greek yoghurt and berry combo can sometimes make a formidable duo. In this case it has not, but I rate the fluffy American style pancakes.

PEAfect – 8/10

Yes the pancakes are green, your eyes are not decieving you. They are made with peas. So, I have no choice but to stan those with such creative minds, even if it’s not quite what I would go for.

Artisan attempt – 6/10

The sauté spinach and tomatoes remind me of the good old days when we could eat out at restaurants.  Additional points for seasoning the egg.

Minimalist – 4/10

I can’t believe this is the only pancake I’ve seen with cream. We need some justice for this forgotten topping even if this pancake does a poor job at utilising it.

Hits different – 9/10

For me, this has all the right proportions. Enough chocolate, plentiful banana and a solid stack of pancakes. The clear winner out of this batch.

Whilst we ended on a high, I want to apologise for the emotional distress some of these pancakes have caused you.

We need to pay respect to our fallen soldiers. But, come on Selly, surely we can do better than this?

Related stories recommended by the writer:

• Makeshift Birmingham nightclub hosting 150 people is raided by the police

• UoB medical students are no longer recieving formsl training at Queen Elizabeth Hospital due to Coronavirus

• Seven things UoB students should take up for Lent