Leaked UoB graduation plans include £20 ‘virtual handshake’ with David Eastwood

With summer graduations around the country having been disrupted due to the outbreak of COVID-19, The Birmingham Tab can exclusively reveal that plans from the University of Birmingham are set to include a £20 ‘virtual handshake’ with David Eastwood.

In leaked emails exchanged between members of UoB senior leadership and the department of alumni relations, it has emerged that this “once in a lifetime experience” will also come with a hefty £20 price tag, to enable a “high quality” and “memorable” experience.

“In order for students to enjoy the most authentic conclusion to their degree, despite the uncertain times that we are facing, we intend to facilitate a virtual graduation experience. This will include a virtual ‘handshake’ between the graduand and our Vice-Chancellor, Professor David Eastwood.

“To ensure that we are able to appropriately manage Professor Eastwood’s time and also cover the considerable technological capacity this is sure to take, we intend to charge graduands £20 for this once in a lifetime experience.”

“We hope that our student community will find this both a high resolution, high quality and a memorable experience.”

An anonymous source at the Guild confirmed to The Birmingham Tab that “thanks to David Eastwood’s generous donation of his time, the university are hoping that this fabulous offer will boost ticket sales, and ultimately, revenue.”

Abi Bacon, a final year student set to graduate this summer, told The Birmingham Tab that she would definitely pay the £20. “Considering the lack of contact I’ve had with him throughout my degree, at least it would be something to remember!

“Preferably Facetime though, don’t want Houseparty to scam me out of more money than the uni has already taken.”

So I guess you better hit than screenshot button quick final years – you’ll want to make sure your mum’s at least got something to frame.

Before you worry too much though, maybe check the date?