Students misreport lab incident thinking they’d spilt radioactive substance

All they had to do was wash their hands

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Local security services, police, ambulances and fire engines were called to the biochemistry building last night as a group of students made a pretty huge mistake when reporting a lab accident.

According to a member of security at the scene, the students had been working with a low grade radioactive substance when they spilled some on their hands.

After reporting this “radioactive” incident to the security services immediately, they looked at their worksheet which stated that all they needed to do was follow standard GCSE chemistry procedure and run their hands under the tap for a bit.

The mistake created a gathering on campus, as nearly all of the emergency services in the local area turned up.

“Miss, I got some acid on me”

Law fresher Luke Berry was onlooking at the time and he said: “I looked out the window of the Avon room and saw a load of emergency vehicles.

“Everything seemed pretty calm considering how many ambulances and fire engines there were. Nobody really seemed interested enough to stop.”

Fortunately, it was just a false alarm and no one actually got hurt.

Katie Bruce, a second year French and Spanish student told The Tab: “To be fair, if they didn’t know the risk it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

On the bright side, at least we know that if there ever is a genuine disaster on campus, we are guaranteed a fleet of ambulances, fire engines, and police cars to come and rescue us.