Don’t judge my awful eating habits

You’ve had a long day of gruelling lectures. You struggled to stay awake through the mind-numbing drone of your lecturer’s voice, and after stumbling home, you’ve collapsed on your bed without taking your shoes off.

And as much as your inner Jamie Oliver wants to whip up a quick low-fat quiche or a Niçoise salad, there’s only one thing you really want. Pizza and chips from the freezer, a takeaway, or a ready meal. Pick your poison.

Bae

Be warned though – however hungry you are, or however bad your day’s been, you know a little niggling voice in the back of your head will make you completely and constantly aware of the consequences of your actions:

“Ooh, what’s this, a trip to the freezer? Bad idea. Seriously. I wonder how many calories are – no no, don’t look at the box, you won’t get diabetes. Promise. Surprises are fun, right?”

Don’t think about the calories

Alternatively, you tried to avoid the guilt factor. It’s half past four and you’re absolutely hammered – the perfect time for a snack. You’re so drunk you’re not sure whether you could care less about your wallet or your belt, so you order £20 worth of chicken, swimming in enough oil to grant a country entry into OPEC, completely guilt free.

That is, until the next morning, when you’re confronted with the remains of your drunken feast. Was it worth it?

But you deserve to eat like a pig. You’re poor. You might not be able to afford anything more than some Tesco’s own baked beans next week, so eat well while you can. That student loan doesn’t last forever.

Dem bones

And if you can stay awake through a whole day of lectures (no cheating), then you’re a trouper, go for it. The sheer effort of concentrating for more than 20 seconds can be draining. Scientifically speaking, it’s probably better for your welfare you keep energy levels up. We recommend vast quantities of chocolate.

Students’ body clocks are geared towards late nights and late mornings. If you get out of bed before midday then good for you. Double points if you make it to your 9am without contemplating dropping out. That effort deserves a reward. And you’re going to the gym later. Later tomorrow. So you’d better eat something in advance. Aren’t you busy tomorrow?

I’m going to the gym – it doesn’t count

Besides, you’re probably doing just fine.