Hypocritical third years should stop moaning and let the freshers have their fun

Every year, a bunch of finalists who think being at uni for a couple of years has made them seasoned veterans conclude the latest generation of freshers is by far the worst.

Predictably, cries of “they can’t drink!”, “they’re loud and obnoxious when I’m trying to sleep!” and “they call Yokos ‘Why Not’!” can be heard coming from the mouths of those who fail to remember that once they too couldn’t drink, were loud and obnoxious, and also got the name of Yokos wrong.

You can bet our elders said the same thing about us, and their elders said the same about them.

lads lads lads

Let’s be honest: when you first arrived you probably hit the SU hard before getting thrown out because you tried to show off with a tray of absinthe bombs. No doubt you also joined a society and ventured into Pier Pressure, screaming all the way as you walked into town.

You may remember the first time you pulled, or awkwardly danced with a bunch of freshers you couldn’t name. But you probably have forgotten the way you shouted down the street when you went for a drink on Sunday evening.

Yeah, Pier innit swag lyk 2k13 freshers omg

It turns out being around a load of loud, drunken revellers is better when you’re also so tanked up that you can’t tell the time, rather than trying to pick up some milk from the 24 hour Spar or working on an essay.

You might say you didn’t drink that much as a fresher, or that you were a respectful drunk, or that things are still worse now. But even if you spent your freshers week teetotal you still wouldn’t know just how rowdy you lot were.

Your predrinks may now be in town… but they’re just as shit and loud

This isn’t to say freshers should go out and be as loud as they want.

But before you post an angry Facebook status, or moan about how loud freshers distracted you from “dissertation research”, cast your mind back a couple of years and remember that you too were once bad and, in many cases, worse.

Oooo, fresher fwiends

So next time you meet a fresher in Pier smoking area boasting about how they dropped for the first time, or while they push to the front of Rummers’ bar, don’t berate them for doing exactly the same things you did.

Forgive them for not knowing what you mean by Yokos. Forgive their not knowing just how bad you feel after a night on Angel’s Woods Rum. Forgive them for never being able to taste Salt’s 2-4-1 cocktails and instead having to settle for the Libertine.

After all, just a quick flick through your photos will reveal you made the same mistakes.

Besides, none of you even know what the Bay was. Losers.