The Love Island Trash League: Which Islanders need to get in the bin?
Lucie tried to rip up the Fury family. Bin
Welcome to The Tab's official Trash League, a weekly ranking of the Love Islanders based on how much they need to be binned off. We've taken into account all the snakey, bitchy, and sometimes lovely things the cast have done this week, and decided who belongs in the dumper, and who should win the £50k right now.
The Casa Amor saga has finally ended, and most of us need medical attention to deal with the stress. Now that we've collected our thoughts, and worked out who is actually coupled up with who, it's time to turn our attention to the real matter at hand: Which Islanders need to get in the bin?
Obviously some Islanders (Maura) are just plain good eggs, and others (Lucie) have had their time and should probably pack their things.
We've ranked the Islanders from "bin" to "win", but who know whether they'll manage to reverse their fate:
Michael – BIN
Obviously, and if you disagree you deserve to jump in the bin as well.
Curtis – BIN
As a nation I think we can hold our hands up and say we got this guy wrong. At first it was all “Curtis is great!! What a perfect man” but oh how wrong we were. He’s a wrong'un. He’s majorly messed Amy about, wouldn’t take no for an answer from Jourdan and treats every conversation like he’s on the West End stage.
He presents everything he is about to say, and starts all conversations with a question and it’s uncomfortable. “What I am about to tell Amy is going to hurt her. But will I still say it? Yes I will.”
Cut to it Curtis, you don’t need to be your own personal narrator. Plus, anyone that whacks out those dance moves casually on request deserves the bin.
Joanna – BIN
On the face of it, Joanna hasn’t reeaaallly done anything wrong. She did what all Casa Amor Islanders are meant to do and took a man off someone else – that much is fair.
What Joanna didn’t have to was encourage Michael to slag off Amber behind her back, and continually label her as “immature” and “childish” despite having not really met her. In that respect, she’s no better than Michael.
Jourdan – BIN
— ??????? ? (@dreamyv_) July 3, 2019
Her reactions at the recoupling. Sorry, who does Jourdan think she is?? You are not an OG cast member stop. BIN.
Danny – BIN
For the personal safety of all the girls in the villa now, and potential future bombshells Danny should be put in the bin. He couples up with girls and then they get dumped. He is a safety hazard. Get him out.
Marvin – BIN
In the villa by the skin of his teeth and apparently not even that into Maura. He’s obviously going to bin her off at the first opportunity, so unless you’re somehow set against the best Islander in the villa you’d best believe this boy is in the garbage.
Lucie – BIN
She’s been in the villa for over a month and what has she achieved? Absolutely piss all other than learning “bev” isn’t going to stick and knowing where the tissues are for her daily crying sessions.
She may have come to life a bit in Casa Amor while she was bed-hopping between George and that posh one, but trying to rip up the Fury Family (including Ellie Belly) was unforgivable.
George – BIN
— alice (@alibuchs) June 28, 2019
It feels a bit mean to put someone in the bin who we barely know – but that’s exactly why George needs to be trashed. The boy hasn’t said anything, contributed to any engaging conversations, and there’s not one single meme made about him, the real sign you’re a nobody. Like the other six Casa Amor Islanders who left and can’t be named, you wouldn’t even notice he’s gone.
Belle – WIN
For Anton’s sake, I’m here for Belle. I couldn’t tell you much more about her other than her name and that she was apparently booked in to do someone’s prom makeup but ditched it for the villa. But she’s with King Anton, and I trust his judgement. If Anton likes her, we like her.
Ovie – WIN
He’s so big. Holy fuck. I can’t remember much about his speech to Amber last night, but it was definitely convincing. All things considered Ovie seems like a proper gent and that comforting cuddle he gave Amber was a shining beacon of wholesome energy in the dark times of the recoupling dramz.
Mara – WIN
My Queen. Our saviour. The feminist icon we need, but not the one we deserve. Maura has consistently been on the money about every fuckboy in her way – seriously, Tom isn’t getting laid for at least another year after her iconic binning of him. She’ll hopefully get rid of Marvin before he can do the same to her, and end up with the 10/10 the producers are saving for the last week.
Amy – WIN
We all were too quick to hate on Amy. Yeah she’s a bit annoying, and was mean to Lucie and can get irritating but I just can’t help but think she needs to be cut some slack. She’s been through enough, and anyone that has put up with Curtis for this long deserves to be saved from a binning.
Molly-Mae – WIN
If I were a betting man, I would not have put money on Tommy and Molly-Mae weathering Casa Amor over Amber and Michael, and Curtis and Amy, but here we are. As an influencer, there’s a level of calculation to the way Molly-Mae presents herself, but we’re starting to see her walls come down a bit and she might have played her cards well enough to be in for the £50k.
Anna – WIN
If I could’ve spent my whole day screaming “YAAAAS” and clapping at footage of Anna staring down Michael and calling him out for his ill-behaviour, I would’ve.
She’s like the judge, jury and executioner, ready to fight for justice on behalf of her friends when they’ve been wronged – everyone needs a hype woman like Anna. And FINE, maybe she’s a bit hypocritical of Michael after she binned off Jordan for Ovie, but her behaviour is incomparable to Michael’s. Long reign Queen Anna.
Jordan – WIN
— Love Island (@LoveIsland) July 2, 2019
Jordan has had to put up with a lot – everyone on the internet makes fun of his teeth, for one. But no one could have prepared him for Anna walking in with Ovie. Not only did Jordan keep it together enough to shake his vanquisher’s hand, but he also seems to be on the verge of winning Anna back. Jordan is a living reminder to back yourself to the hilt.
Anton – WIN
LOOK AT HIM. Our child is finally blossoming into a little shagger right before our very eyes and you’d probably have to be the sort of person who hates puppies to disapprove. True, Belle might be taking advantage of this, but Anton is a sweetheart and will likely survive on a few more friendship couples before the series is out.
Amber – WIN
As one of Amber’s friends, that was hard for me to watch. It’s not nice to see your friend in pain and biting their tongue not knowing what to say. But it looks like tomorrow Amber and Anna rip him a new arsehole, so it’s all good. #LoveIsland pic.twitter.com/XLa3U8kooL
— AMBER ROSE OFFICIAL (@AmberRoseGill) July 2, 2019
Our girl truly did us proud this week. On the night when everybody truly expected her to lose her shit, she was more calm and collected than anyone (read: Michael) anticipated. She was humiliated in front of every Islander and the whole nation yet didn’t even shed a tear. This is pretty impressive considering Lucie cries literally every episode.
Tommy – BIG WIN
— Shayla S (@_shaylas) July 2, 2019
Little did Tommy know that when he grasped Molly-Mae’s elephant doll and held it to his divinely constructed pectorals, he would usurp every boy in the villa to become the nation’s sweetheart. What a man. No lie I would die for him.