You don’t have to be a gym wanker to get fit

If you’re anything like me (you should be so lucky), you’ll probably find that you’ve piled on the pounds due to the winter blues.

Put down the chocolate and close your laptop, the outside world is calling.

The culprit

You’ve paid your £99.90 gym membership, now it’s time to sort out your gym wardrobe so you can look fab while running that all-important 5k.

Get yourself a pair of kicks you could run a marathon in (or just to the chippy) and embrace the running tights. You know you want to.

Running leggings are essential, protein shakes are not

When going to the gym just seems too tough, go for a walk or jog with a mate. Just don’t be one of those dicks who run side-by-side on a pavement. Single file, please.

#smashedit

If you feel a bit of a twat going to the gym solo, why not head to a class with your friends? You know it’ll be a laugh and there’s nothing better than seeing them whitey after a difficult spin class.

I mean, there’s nothing better than knowing you all worked hard.

See you at Bums, Tums and Thighs!

But it’s not all just treadmills and xtrainers, oh no. You may have to say no to those so-good-yet-so-bad takeaways and Dominos on a Tuesday. Grab your shopping list with those new-found guns of yours and head into town, armed with a plethora of nutritional info.

You’ll be looking like Popeye in no time

If you can’t stomach spinach, try blending it. As well as tasting great, you can now successfully label yourself as a smoothieLAD (or LASS). Kale’s great too, if you have no taste-buds.

Not quite a #BLEEDGREEN.

If you’re more of a sweet-toothed person, swap the chocolate for the strawberries. After a veggie-filled dinner, the only way to finish it off is with yogurt and fruit. Or a cake.

Eating out of a tupperware box because I’m classy.

I’ve heard Fubar is also running a Clubbercise class on a Thursday. Glowsticks galore and sweat for a good reason? Mint.