Five of the best Sheffession stories to remind you of the good times
Your pre-lockdown stories are wild
After almost five weeks of lockdown, it is no secret that we are missing Sheffield terribly. Our Steel City was taken from us too soon and we are all feeling the seperation.
To distract us from the heartache, Sheff students have taken to telling their pre-lockdown stories to the online confessions page, Sheffessions, and they do not disappoint.
1. A grave story to tell
The anonymous poster behind #Sheffession9336 detailed how she met her boyfriend in quite a grave situation.
“Me and a group of friends went for drinks and at like 3am when all the bars were closing there was only four of us still around. The other two guys (who weren’t my now boyfriend) decided they wanted to get high in the church graveyard next to The Diamond. Me and my boyfriend got off on one of the gravestones next to them. I can’t wait to tell out future children all about the night we started seeing each other…”
2. The tampon saviour
This story brings a whole new meaning to trying to avoid a toxic situation, when the anonymous poster’s tampon was stuck inside her after sex.
“I got ridiculously drunk at Roar, as you do, and went home with this guy and we had sex (it was pretty good to be fair), it was only afterwards when I went to the toilet that I remembered I was on my period and I had forgotten to take my tampon out. I tried to get it out myself but couldn’t reach it, I had a mini panic and realised I’d have to ask my one night stand to try and get it out of me. He got it out quite easily and didn’t seem that grossed out but I am pretty sure I left it on his floor so he was probably grossed out the next morning.
“Afterwards I started seeing him around uni everywhere and would cringe so bad, so I guess the only good thing about uni being cancelled is I don’t have to hide from my tampon saviour anymore.”
3. An eventful night on We(s)t Street
#Sheffession9294 brings us a throwback story to freshers 2018, where a rainy night out on West Street got even wetter.
“It’s 2018 and my second week of uni, me and my coursemates are walking from Endcliffe to the club on West Street.
“I start to really need a wee early on, but not wanting to miss out on spending time with my potential new friends I try to just hold it. But after Bar One, I lost bladder control and completely wet myself. I was wearing black jeans and it was already raining so I think I got away with it. I continued this entire night out having told no one.
“Fast forward a year and a half and the girls from that night out are still some of my best mates and I’ve only told one of them this story.”
4. Hide and… sneak into the IC?
“It was the second night of freshers, countless jägerbombs and £5 rounds later and me and my next door neighbour were lost in the depths of West Street, we probably needed to get back. We started wandering outside tigerworks asking if anyone was going the same way and a group of third years spotted us and said they were going to go and play hide and seek in the library if we wanted to go.
“Within seconds we were following these people to the IC and after the longest and strangest journey, we made it and were instructed to sit on a wall as we had to sneak in two by two.
“It was now past 4:30am and hide and seek was in full force, crouching under tables and taking cover in the prayer room. About 40 minutes later we decided to put Danny Devito on the computer screens of the people who had left themselves logged in.
“Eventually we said goodbye to our new pals and decided to walk back to Ranmoor which took over an hour. Still to this day we have no idea who those people were but whoever you are, thank you for the mems xoxo”
Who knew sneaking into a uni library could be so much fun?
5. A gross goodbye
#Sheffession9308 describes how not having a tactical chunder the night before lead to a gross goodbye gift for her lecturer and coursemates.
“I’d been drinking with my flat the night before my final lecture to celebrate my first year of uni coming to an end & suffice to say it was a bit too much.
“Between scrambling to try and find some decent food from our nearly empty fridge & having to extract myself from a flat-mate’s bed, I was running fifteen minutes late by the time I stumbled into the lecture. I was determined to make it because I had no clue when I’d next have a proper lecture, so I wanted to see people on my course for the last time!
“I got all my stuff out & was taking notes for about 5 mins before I realised I’d made a huge mistake by not having a chunder last night. I realised that I was going to have to jump two rows of seats and run for the loo, or something terrible would happen.
“I failed to jump them, landing on my face & after I’d scrambled to my feet I still wasn’t safe.
“I didn’t quite make it out the door before I was sick in the doorway and all around the hall.”
Terrible. Truly terrible stuff. And we can only hope there’s more of it next year.