Come on, Corp school uniform is derogatory and lame

‘Do you have a tie I could borrow?’

There’s a reason why your friends from home think it’s weird that everyone gets dressed up in school uniform to go out on a Wednesday night. That’s because it is. Many rush to its defence, arguing that the outfit just adds to the trashy charm of the club infamous for its disgusting toilets, sticky floor, and ridiculously cheap alcohol. After downing a few blue pints, you think you won’t care about what you’re wearing. Trust me, you will the next day when you have to walk back from your bae’s/one night stand’s house dressed like that. Pro-tip: in this situation at least take off your tie. There’s not such an easy solution for washing off the lingering “Corp smell” though. Sorry.

No one has ever got to uni in Sheffield, looked at its nightlife and thought, “You know what, I’d really rather be at my Year 8 school disco right now”. Leave the school uniform at school. This is what most of us did, so for everyone thinking that school uniform is a simple fancy dress theme because everyone already has the right clothes for it, think again. Nearly everyone I’ve spoken to had to make a specific trip to Primark for their Corp clothes. Primark is a long walk from Endcliffe.

When you compare the effort that people put into their costumes at Roar, it reveals what a lazy fancy dress idea Corp school uniform really is. Roar fancy dress includes a myriad of exciting themes, none of which are plain school uniform.

Young adults wearing school uniform is always going to be sexualised. Even the posters for Corp Wednesdays look like a weird corner of PornHub, with young anime girls with big boobs and see through skirts. There is always at least one creepy guy there wearing his own clothes. Who is he? Did he come here expecting to live out some kind of porn fantasy? Has he just come to watch post-teen girls dressed up in school uniform? Probably. Ew.

From a practical perspective, I’d like to know who thought it was a good idea to make everyone wear white shirts to a club that literally serves drinks in every colour of the rainbow. Red pint stains are really hard to get out. You will spend the rest of the year with pink marks all over your white shirt, but at least you don’t have to walk all the way back down to Primark again.

It’s all smiles before your entire red pint gets spilled down your clean white shirt

If getting smashed and throwing up on your shoes after attempting the rainbow challenge isn’t bad enough, doing all of that whilst wearing school uniform makes it inevitably worse. It might be fun for 18-year-olds at the start of first year, whose school uniform days feel like yesterday, because they were. For the rest of us though, we all know it’s kind of tragic. Of course, we only do it ironically now.

At the end of the night, we’re usually too drunk to care. I am not advocating that we start going to Corp in our everyday clothes, because that would be even weirder. It’s just a bit embarrassing that Sheffield’s most infamous club nights involves young adults dressing up in school uniform. Just saying.