The Tab looks back at our personal statements

Let’s be honest, we all sounded like a bit of a twat on our personal statements.

You think you didn’t? You misremember. Or you’re lying, just like you did on your personal statement. You little minx, you.

The Tab Sheffield writers have devoutly scoured their memory sticks and deepest reaches of My Documents to bring you some quotes from our personal statements. And, boy, are we red in the face.

Resident Pun-Meister Matt Clarke wrote, in his bid to study English Language and Literature, ‘Samuel Johnson told us that “Language is the dress of thought”, and I think it suits me.’ It sure does, Matt.

Suited and booted.

Sam Walsh tops the twats in the hope of studying Politics, as he claimed that ‘The thrilling idea that I am shaping the future of Britain and could have had a hand in choosing a future Prime Minister is one that enthrals and astounds me.’ And he’s unlikely to ever live it down.

Enthralled, but mostly astounded.

Matt Kirkland, who applied for Mechanical Engineering, wrote ‘I specialised in pole-vault, which I feel fits quite well in to the category of “sport that requires a subliminal knowledge of mechanics”, if there is such a thing: momentum, moments, spring constants, all these things were vital when put into use.’ A tenuous link, but it seems to have worked.

Brushing up on some skills.

Matt Arnerich had read a book in preparation for applying for Philosophy: ‘In Sophie’s World, Jostein Gaarder relates the world to a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, where the majority of people are merely insects content to live out their lives deep inside the rabbit’s fur. This allegory first sparked my interest in philosophy. Since I am compelled to constantly question reality, never prepared to accept things as they are, or accept other people’s explanations without question, I could never be one of those insects content to live within the rabbit’s fur.’ What an insightful young gent.

That face. Always questioning.

Daisy Collingwood understood that applying for an English degree was no laughing matter, as she wrote ‘”Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion” says Jane to Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice, a quote that has always, and will continue to affirm my dedication and passion for English.’ Such dedication and passion, in fact, that she changed course to Geography a week before term began.

Daisy had the last laugh.

Think you can top our blunders? Why not leave your own personal statement quotes below? It’s cathartic, we promise.