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I asked you about your funniest and weirdest breakup stories

From the Playground to Gordon Ramsey

Picture this – you’ve been dating for a few months, maybe even over a year, and you suddenly get the sinking feeling something isn’t quite right. 90% of people wait for the dreaded call, text or awkward conversation. For the other 10%, it involves their grandparents dog.

In a playground

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"I was 9 and it was after we’d played kiss chase. He kissed me and then told me it wasn’t working. Apparently he was using me to get his first kiss."

How was it?


Watching Hell's Kitchen

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"We’d been dating for a few months, I invited her round, we couldn’t decide on anything to watch so just ended up watching the first thing that came on tv"

What happened next?

"I think the blue team was losing. She’d seemed off for a while, to be honest, I can’t really remember the exact details but she ended up storming out and I got a text later"

How do you feel about Gordon now?

"Oh yeah, I still like him. Fucking shit performance from the blue team though."

Biscuit Duty

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"Each week two people were chosen to pass out biscuits to people in our class during break, and while he was giving one to my friend he told me he liked her instead"

What biscuit was it?

"I think maybe shortbread. I was a bit in my head, to be honest"

At a rock concert

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"At a rock concert my band was performing at. She waited til the end, in her defence, it was when I was packing up my guitar. She said she thought we needed to have time apart"

What was the last song you played?

"Um, a cover of Wonderwall. By Oasis."

Walking my Grandparent's Dog

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"While we were looking after my grandparents' dog… we were actually having a pretty good time, it was when we were taking it for a walk-it was the longest time we had spent together in a few months, and it just all came out"

What dog was it?

"A labradoodle."

In summary, if you've recently been involved in a breakup, you can count your blessings it wasn't with Gordon Ramsey screaming 'fucking donkey' in the background. All breakups hurt, of course, but none sting so much as the fact the last song you played to your ex was 'Wonderwall'