Putting ‘sexy’ in front of a Halloween costume does not make it sexy

I don’t get it. How does making a stupid costume with less material make it become sexy? A shorter dress for a Crayola costume doesn’t make it sexy. I don’t know any guys who have looked at ‘Sexy Crayons’ and thought, “She’s the one for me!” I, for one, am going as a ‘Sexy Crab’ this Halloween. Ludicrous, I know. But putting ‘sexy’ in front of a costume doesn’t make it attractive, just more ridiculous.

Halloween is fun, it’s a time to dress up, look like a mess and drink in a costume. All your friends are together in silly outfits, coordinated or not. What more can someone ask for? Well, maybe some warmth, as all the women’s Halloween costumes seem to be lacking in garments and October is freezing. It’s strange and it’s cold outside. I dare you to trek across from Englefield Green to a house party sporting only thigh high socks and shorts.

Women aren’t alone in this, men are victims of this bizarre ‘sexy’ trend too:

Men are victims of this cruel joke too

Sexy costumes can be cool, I am indifferent to the standard ‘Sexy School Girl’, ‘Sexy Builder’ or ‘Sexy Nurse’ outfits which Anne Summers has conditioned most of us to accept. Everyone knows the ‘Sexy Cats’ – they come out every year with their beautiful black lycra body suits and cute cat whiskers, while someone dressed as a pumpkin sadly stands next to them. And as for the ‘Sexy Red Devil’? The sensual damnation and biblical connotations are the cutest.

But what I cannot accept nor understand are ‘sexy’ Minions, Harambe, bananas, Spongebob, even Donald Trump. The list is endless. It’s mesmerising and bad. These are oxymorons in costume form.

My goal since my first year at uni has been to go as the least sexy thing on any list: last year I ventured around as a large pink squid. To mock this ‘sexy’ ideal, I made it a ‘Sexy Squid’ with pink thigh high socks. This year it will be a crab, a ‘Sexy Crab’…

Some people are actually sick and tired of the lack of variety for women during Halloween, if they have to go as a ‘Sexy School Girl’ again then they will combust. If you just venture to the men’s section and purchase a smaller size, you can now go as a very practical looking policeman or vampire without being cold.

Yet, it is actually quite fun getting your legs our when you know it isn’t right. There is a certain lunacy you admire in the costumes and the insanity removes all the ‘sexy’ from the ‘Sexy Donald Trump’…

HOW ARE CRUSTACEANS OR POLITICIANS REMOTELY SEXY?

Samantha, a 3rd year Historian, went as a ‘Sexy Pigeon’ last year. A sexy pigeon. She, like many girls, embraces the ‘sexy/awkward’ outfits every year, and why not? If it’s ironic, it works. Absurdity in the face of absurdity.

She looks cute

I don’t understand (and no one probably does) why putting ‘sexy’ in front of anything seems to be a very socially acceptable Halloween costume, but it works. It’s the one evening you can fulfil you weird desires and go out as a sexy mess. Flash your legs and body parts in the cold, but it’s all in the spirit of fun.

I, for one, in the spirit of Halloween and of irony will forever hold dear this clause of ‘sexy’.