Notts students tell us about their accidental last night out before lockdown

Just in case you needed some inspo for ruining your life on June 21st

Last March we all went home for what we, very wrongly, thought would simply be a prolonged Easter break. Despite being blissfully unaware of the trainwreck of a year we had ahead of us, it appears Notts students took this uncertainty and didn’t just run with it, but sprinted with it as fast as their legs could take them.

Students have had it rough ever since, facing abuse from the media and government, but we didn’t let that drop our spirits. We, as students, know our value on this earth and in this city, and never underestimate our strengths – namely, sabotaging our reputation and bringing shame upon our family name after what was meant to be ‘just a couple of drinks – I’ve got lectures tomorrow’.

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Whether you’re a die-hard Crisis fan, an Ocean connoisseur, or both (respectable), Notts students never fail to bring a humiliating yet brilliant tale to the table – I know I have missed them so dearly.

So, to fill the void that nights out that have left in all student’s lives, we asked for your stories about what ended up being your last night out before lockdown and boy did you provide. Here are some of the adventures you all got up to on the accidental, final night out of 2020.

“Went home with a Southampton Uni student at Rock City, turns out he lied and was a police officer in Notts. In all fairness, he did take me for a date but my dad’s a police officer so it just gave me the ick.”

If you got any fines this year, you know who to blame. Salty.

“The last Ocean, got kicked out of Maccies and got with my next door neighbour.”

Standard behaviour after a couple of jägers, don’t worry about it.

“Went out for a few pints for a pals birthday, ended up getting thrown out of a cocktail bar. Ordered an Uber home but, because I was bladdered, accidentally hit the recent journey thing and click an ex’s address. So I get in the Uber, pass out and throw up so the already 100-quid fee is increased for cleaning. I crash at hers, have to bump the train the next day because I left my wallet in the first pub and my phone died.”

I hope she takes you back solely for your Grandkids’ entertainment. Don’t do this to yourselves.

“Saturday before uni closed. A ton of people made out with the same inflatable banana. Somehow none of us got COVID.”

What about the banana?

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“Ocean Wednesdays. Mates got kicked out for punching someone.”

I do find ‘Rock DJ’ by Robbie Williams has that effect on me, too.

“I went on a date with someone I’d come home from ocean with the week before. I was on this date and he was just boring and ate disgustingly. I called my mate from the toilets and got her to buy me a Crisis ticket. I made the date take me to a bar, he bought me a pitcher, I downed it then was like ‘OMG I have an emergency at home’, then dashed to Crisis.”

Pres? Paid for? Scamming a man? Taking a leaf out of your book.

“Got with someone from Tinder I don’t remember speaking to but he remembered me.”

So unmemorable and irrelevant yet still managed to get with you, I applaud him.

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• The seven deadly sins of Crisis (that we miss so dearly)

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