What your hall at Nottingham says about you

If you’re in HuStu, you’re probably a royal.


Our uni attracts a huge variety of students, international and local, posh or not, stuck-up or humble, but with a nationwide reputation of being stereotyped (often harshly as the boring one) it is hard not to conform to the shitty majority of your block and hallmates.

With stupid hall rivalries and feuds on the rise, we have delineated whether each hall rumour and spread about you is true or not.

Rutland

Existing as the council estate student hall on campus, it is easy to associate the buildings chic, 1960s art deco fasade with its living and breathing residents.

Acting embarassed and befuddled when telling coursemates and friends about where they live, Rutland residents only show their faces in their cafe, and even then they cower when other hall people watch from afar judging their halls of residence. Rutland people are like their halls architecture: bland and a bit pointy.

Sherwood

Many of those outside of the infamous Sports Zone may get mixed up between Sherwood and Rutland, her identical twin, that's because, well, they are identical. Equally drab architecture and equally, or more so, drab vibes.

A typical Sherwood resident applied late to accomodation and had to settle on something less desiring than its neighbour Derby or Lincoln. You are a party animal, nonetheless, drinking is your forte, and described very clearly as an 'interest' on your CV. Your vocabularly consists solely on variations of drinking before going out: pre-drinks, prinks, pre gamming, twinking. You name it.

Derby

On nights out, you namedrop that you live in Derby hall and almost no one really cares. Your conversation with someone you just bagged a ciggarette off of in the smoking area consists of discussing about the catered food at Derby, Echo bar and its burgers, and its food which you eat on a daily basis. Your accomodation is dry and boring, just like your chances tonight. Go home.

Lincoln

Right next to its neighbouring Oxbridge-wannabe-looking hall, Cripps, Lincoln is just known for its really nice and cool look. Like really cool. You just don't meet Lincoln people out and about on campus and in the city.

During the week, you're exchanging pleasantries with your fellow counterparts in Cripps hall and reading their powerful medicine and law degrees, by the weekend, you're up in Surrey or Kent visiting mama and papa for some family time.

Lenton and Wortley

For that matter, I don't think anyones met anyone from Lenton and Wortley. Lenton and Wortley people like to keep to themselves. Crouched in the corner of campus, everyone just doesn't see them elsewhere apart from their hall.

Despite 'raving' reviews on Student Rooms and what not, you ended up in Lenton and Wortley because you chose North Zone for accomodation and wanted Cripps but ended up there instead. You arrived on the Saturday before Freshers with your mum; both of you knew it was far from your already poor expectations of uni halls, yet none of you brought it up.

Cripps

Rowdy and lucrative, that's Cripps. It's identical to Hugh Stewarts look, Florence Boot's people, and a Sherwood Hall's identity. Everyone has their 'Cripps lot' or their 'Cripps boys', because they're such sound people.

Stealth and Shapes are their go-to weekday clubs, with Crisis a Cripps ritual for many. They drink, they eat, and they go to lectures like normal people, but once they name drop their hall into a conversation, they must expect a reaction of somesorts otherwise their complete existence is rendered pointless. Cripps is fun.

Hugh Stewart

Oxbridge-interview-rejects privately-schooled students only reside in Hugh Stewart. Calling Hu-Stu won't make you sound hip or down with the kids, it'll only exacerbate your posh RP accent and that certain way you pronounce your Ts and Ss.

You study something like english or history or sociology because that's like such a Durwick or Oxbridge subject, and you'll go super far with that. Don't worry, your halls JCR and bar and chicken joint makes up for it in terms of modernity. Hu-Stu residents just want to be stuck in the 1800s, just like their halls appearance.

Nightingale

Literally the hall that everyone aspires to be in, freshers, international students, local students. Whilst, you and your buddies are bouncing off of the walls, jumping on the sofas in the JCR after your big night out in the city, Nightingale resort to huddling up with Waitrose already-popped popcorn, watching Love, Actually in the TV room.

You're not a poser at Nightingale, but still no one really knows your hall that well. Apart from the lift and the double beds in every…single…room, there's not much to brag about. The people are nice, good food and you appreciate that you live there rather than the other side of UP.

Ancaster

Nothing screams private schooling and daddy issues than en-suite and double beds. Ancaster caters to the preened of the preened, those who in their first year demand trips back and forth to North London every weekend, and in their second and third, live in the Park, and defintely anywhere away from Lenton.

But alas, you can expect long walks to anywhere and everywhere worth going to on campus, mind-numbing boredom, and complete social rejection if you didn’t live within five miles of Brent Cross.

Cavendish

It's the Sherwood Hall of the Ancaster/Cav/Willoughby trimester area, exactly the same as Ancaster, but very different as those in Cav insist.

Hype for Cavendish hall is short lived as many who venture into the grounds and inside the hall realise that the en-suite bathrooms take up half the space of the rooms itself and the inside deccor reminds one of a derrelict student accomodation. You realise Cavendish ain't all that, and reply Ancaster when someone asks you which hall you're at.

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Willoughby

A bit naff and a bit dead. You take pride in that you have one of the best (student) bar on campus and have a whole restaurant to yourselves, but apart from that and the clean and respectable opinion many may have of you, Willoughby is just another hall.

You eat there, sleep there, maybe socialise there on a night out or when watching the game but other than that theres nothing to it. You're simple people, coming from London or Surrey or Kent, and just want to have a great time at uni. Bless.

Florence Boot

Notorious for debauchery and god-knows-what that happens behind closed doors in the hall closest to the roughest part of Nottingham. You solely listen to house and bassline, wear FILA, flower designs, and essentially anything vintage or was bought from a vintage shop.

Florence Boot is yet another hall which fashionabily acronymizes itself to something no one asked for, which I guess merits the hall some award, other than it being the oldest hall in the uni and the farthest from literally anywhere on campus.

Broadgate Park

You're basically indistinguishable from the 3000 other students who live in Beeston. Nothing's really positive about Broadgate Park. You have to embark on a full on adventure if you want to go anywhere on campus and you're closest social scene is in the town of Beeston, fun tings.

You like self-catering because it's cheaper, I guess, and normal halls are just too eh. You're always in the city finding something better to do because the social scene in your appartment isn't really popping, and the tram is fairly cheap. Whenever you tell someone you live in Broadgate, they'll always ask if you know their special Broadgate friend, but clearly you don't.

Newark and Southwell and Melton

To sacrifice social life to live and breathe on Jubilee Campus is a huge act to make for hundreds who make that choice every year when moving to Newark and wherever Southwell is.

Surrounded by Chinese-named halls that you can't properly pronounce, life is inherently simple and neat for you. Very rarely, you make the trek to UP campus for the odd society social event or to meet your 'UP mates', but when you do, it's great. You start to wonder who're better friends, them or the 903 bus you take weekly.

Raleigh Park

People who move to Raleigh Park either love spending time and effort cooking every day and every night or want to experience life after first year in their first year by cooking every day and every night.

Raleigh Park has its plus sides: you host the sickest parties and pres, security 24/7, a functioning JCR, and bike racks to lock up your bike after cycling back and forth from lectures. Nothing says banging self-catered student accommodation than £7 Lidl vodka and consistent cheap dinners in the Subway and the kebab joint accross the road.

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Riverside Point

Tucked away next to a tatty looking locals pub where middle aged Nottingham locals are seen downing Forsters at three in the afternoon, and backing onto a beautifully scenic railway track, Riverside Point is the choice of those who really don’t have a clue at university.

You've only ended up there because you literally had no other choice. Despite having a better location than most self-catered halls, very rarely does anything interesting happen here – it’s just very boring. Telling someone you go to Riverside Point often produces a puzzling look and a shrug.

Sutton Bonington

Personally, I can count more people who've left Sutton Bonington, changed courses to have lectures on UP campus, than contact hours I have a week.

Like every ex-SB person you've met wandering in the Law and Social Sciences building or Sir Clive Granger, most hadn't prepared for the farm life in Leicestershire, but they eventually moved in during Freshers Week, experienced a lame barn party, and switched courses two weeks after to something remotely similar which guarantees lectures and seminars in Nottinghamshire, not 10 miles away.

You basically go to Loughborough, lets be real.