Forget Fallow’s Fittest, meet Fallow’s Frankest lockdown looks
‘Cos the only way I’d be getting a six pack this lockdown is by fake tanning it on
‘Fallowfield’s fittest’ – 10s of thousands of students voted in it, BNOCs wet themselves over it whilst all the rest of us sit on our sofas, self-contempt creeping in, whilst stuffing our bored selves with more junk food.
It’s a great source of eye-candy and I take my hat off to you if you’re in it, but during this time of lockdown, I don’t need to be reminded how fit others are when I have ten different food stains on my jumper (which I haven’t washed in probs over a month), have consumed multiple takeaways and have practically become part of the sofa.
There’s nothing wrong with fit people sure, but what about the real people of Fallow?
We asked Manc students to send in their Frankest lockdown looks. So here I present to you instead an insight into the reality of lockdown life for us students:
First Place: Jonah
Here we have the realist insight into the lockdown madness, which I’m sure will be relatable to all – the mismatched attire, classic quarantine make-shift cape; eyes channeling a mixture of despair but also crazed happiness at being able to frolic wild and free safely within the confines of one’s home yet being denied the ability to go back to one’s natural habitat of the Friendship Inn.
Second Place: Myself
Yes I may be biased in putting myself in second place – but when does anything you vote for ever really turn out fair hmm?
The classic under eye bags, dark circles, face withdrawn into the reassuring comfort of a hoodie stained with an array of condiments – the only remnants of Fallow girl days being the choice of poncey passion-fruit for breakfast.
The eyes really do tell all in this photo – the pure fear, mug-clutching, scattered pages, books and highlighters look during the all-nighter sesh before a deadline, despite having had all the free time in the world to do it sensibly – when will we learn?
‘Cos drowning yourself in vodka whilst in a bath and getting day drunk EVERY SINGLE DAY is really the only way to be #winning this lockdown.
Lockdown is the perfect time to reminisce over old photos – photos of joyous fun, such as Eurovision themed dress up parties. The sort of fun we will not experience again until (spoiler) 2021. Forever crying over Snapchat ‘A year ago today’s’…
Not only is the goat a massive lockdown MOOD, but Tim’s creative take in embodying said goat displays the lack of sanity we are all feeling this pandemic season.
The emoji pillow is the ultimate lockdown vibe and if you’ve made it out of your pj’s or onesie I salute you/ condemn you.
Because these are the only ways one should be utilising bras in this lockdown period – let your boobs fly free as they’re the only things which can (RIP pub season).
This is the sorta self-care I’m talking about people. If you haven’t whacked on a facemask and then sat for an hour (cos why stick by the rules and only leave it on for 10) contemplating your life’s existence then I implore you to go do so.
If you’re not eating your own bodyweight in donuts, chocolate and other delectable junk foods then are you really living your best #quaratinelife?