UCL absolutely smash KCL in new Guardian university rankings

Obviously

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UCL have beaten King’s by a colossal 47 places in a new university rankings, coming in 11th overall.

KCL students must’ve got a sinking feeling today when they saw The Guardian’s University League table for 2019, and noticed their beloved Strand Polytechnic languishing at number 58, a position held by four other universities, including our friendly neighbourhood SOAS.

Although King’s have always been trailing far behind HMS UCL’s wake, they maintained a steady rise and fall in The Guardian’s league table of no more than 4 places each way.

Up to now their biggest achievement had been a sharp drop in 2015 from 32nd to 40th, however not content with remaining in the 30’s and 40’s they have defied the bookies and pulled off a whopping 19 place drop.

Strand Poly have London’s sympathy, however unfortunately as donating places are not an option, we can only hope they’ll try their best not to abandon ship.

We hear that KCL's strength and conditioning training for next year's Varsity has already begun, as players use all their might scrolling down the table to find their uni.