We rate ourselves as boring but beautiful

Experts at Student Money saver have compiled their annual alternative league table, showing UCL students brand themselves as boring, beautiful and sober.

Released last week, the survey shows which university has the nicest, happiest or most psychopathic students, allowing UCL to compare itself to the likes of Strand Poly and St. Andrews.

Surprisingly, LSE students are the most irresponsible with money in London – which is encouraging, as they’re all gonna end up with sweet City jobs in finance.

LSE students be like

But UCL lovelies on the other hand are far nicer than their SOAS neighbours – and far less likely to set off the fire alarms.

We’re also pretty fit (at least according to ourselves). Three out of five students claimed they were beautiful, trailing our new cousins at the Institute of Education who gave themselves a score of eight out of ten.

60 per cent of these people think they’re beautiful

Surprisingly UCL seems to be the university where drugs are rarer than a topped up Oyster Card. Out of all the students asked, not one thought they could buy drugs by the end of the day. SOAS students, though, seemed confident they could get a fix as they all thought they could get some.

In the final piece of ground-breaking research from Student Money Saver, we discover UCL students are very tame, with only 17 per cent describing themselves as “party animals”. This lags behind even Cambridge with a score of 20 per cent, and even Birkbeck, the NIGHT TIME university with a score of 50 per cent.

Not a UCL toilet