Fashion Taboos When the Sun Goes Down

Although London is one of the fashion capitals of the world and the breeding ground for hip and quirky designers, the city also boasts some awful slutty and garish attire.

It haunts the clubbing scene at night!

Young girls squeeze themselves into scraps of Polyester embellished with plastic sequins, ruffles or lace. A mask of makeup disguises the ‘rush of blood to the head’. Six layers of foundation = orange complexion (one which usually does not match the colour of the lower neck). Heavy coats of mascara and eye shadow hinder the staple flirtatious ‘battering of the eyelid’. To quote an anonymous source, "they look like they've been gang-banged by a box of Crayolas!"

Sadly these atrocious outfits attract drunk, horny male attention because they scream, “look at me, I’m showing lots of flesh, I clearly have no class or dignity, I’m easy!” Generation upon generation of teenage girls develop this warped mentality that if they dress like mid-market prostitutes, they will be recognised and ‘appreciated’ by the opposite sex.

This has to stop! Sexy can be stylish and classy – gasp. Ever heard the phrase ‘leave them wanting more’? Think of that the next time you get dressed for a night out. The less flesh on display, the more mysterious and interesting you become (any guy who tells you otherwise is a lazy bastard who doesn’t want to make the effort).

A dress can always be nice but make sure both bum cheeks are covered and if it’s sexy on the bottom, keep it modest on top. Try separates! Suffering for fashion unnecessarily is not cool so when it’s cold out put some cute trousers on with a chiffon blouse or chic t-shirt. And for God’s sake wear tights and a coat! Shorts are a great option. Topshop have come out with some great, affordable sequin and metallic ones perfect for going out.

When it comes to high heels there is a fine line between flattering and tacky. Generally speaking, avoid cheap patent leather (especially if it’s not black) and stay away from metallic heels. Most importantly: IF YOU CAN’T WALK IN THEM DON’T BUY THEM, NO MATTER HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE! There is nothing more ridiculous than a girl stumbling down the street, legs shaking, ankles occasionally giving way.

Looking effortlessly good is far sexier than any under-sized mini-dress paired with sky-high platforms.