Everything you see on Smithdown at 4am

Living on Smithdown is a staple part of any student’s life in Liverpool. You have to live here at least once to truly know what goes down in this strange but wonderful land we call home. Constant parties, police sirens and late night trips to a takeaway are everywhere to be seen in this student area when the sun goes down and the students come out to play. You’ll never witness any of these sights in your little village in the home counties gone 10pm, trust us.

1. The mysterious ice cream van circling the streets
2. People in pyjamas going to ASDA because they’re desperate for a pizza but don’t want to pay more than a quid
3. And then being confused because they can’t get through the front doors. When will they ever learn?
4. People walking to the wrong house after a night out as they all look the same when you’re 10 tequilas through
5. A stray rugby lad dressed as a woman after an AU night
6. Half night stands leaving
7. Booty calls arriving are now arriving as people get lonely and horny after a “mental night” at the Raz.

   House goals

8. People running into late night booze to get condoms for the oncoming night’s events.
9. Students getting lost in the cemetery as they “swear there is a shortcut through it”
10. Kids doing wheelies on scramblerbikes, then proceeding to try and sell you MKAT.
11. Last minute Chesters’ trips because you caved in when you saw your friend bring home red salt chips.
12. Fights breaking out in aforementioned shop due to that random bitch from your seminar taking your food.
13. People pouring out of house parties on Langdale after they’ve been shut down by police or angry scouse mothers
14. Lost townies desperate to get home to the Georgian Quarter, hailing black cabs, willing to do anything to get out of this hellhole
15. Dog poo…EVERYWHERE.
16. Dead pigeons
17. The escaped lizard roaming, finding itself some student prey
18. Someone’s house being broken into
19. Police coming to deal with these burglaries
20. …Or shutting down house parties.
21. People stealing trollies from ASDA to make the walk back to the house more exciting
22. But struggling when they reach 5m from the shop as the magnets kick in.
23. Sitting in the smoking area of the Brookhouse for a “quick sit down” before you walk back to your house at the other end of Smithdown. You keep reminding yourself that you pay an extra fiver a week for the nicer garden.
24. People walking to their mate’s house for “afters”

    Why is it light already?

25. Walking back from your mate’s house and accepting your fate that you’ll have to get an Uber to the next road as the houses really do look the same.
26. Optimistic freshers trying to walk home but caving when they reach TESCO and call a taxi.
27. People optimistically waiting at bus stops for non-existent busses. The 86 may be all night guys, but that’s it. Gawd.
28. Cats miaowing at you for almost standing on them as you walk by. There are just so many black cats, and they hide so well?
29. People wailing “I loved him so much, why did he end it?” as they walk arm in arm with their best pal who’s heard it all before. So many times.
30. Students proclaiming: “I’m going to miss living here so much. How will I survive in a house with actual central heating and working wifi?”