How to spot someone from South Wales

The Welsh are the best part of everybody’s university experience. For us, it’s getting to meet more wonderful people from the Land of our Fathers, and for everybody else it’s becoming acquainted with people from the best country in the world. Yes, it is a country.

Don’t settle for the second rate Welshies of up North – I mean, where even is Rhyl?  South Wales is home to the biggest legends of your university experience – and this is how to spot us.

We have to start every night in Wetherspoons

We don’t really get it either, but we are obsessed.  Every big night in town starts with two for £12 jugs of Strawberry Daiquiri (or the new Raspberry Mojito, 10/10).

“Two glasses girls?”

“Don’t bother, just a straw please”.

Repeat this at least twice to have a taster of a Welsh night out. Bypassing glasses will change your life.

Drinking at any time of day is completely acceptable

Speaking of ‘spoons, as the token Welsh housemate you are the only one who is always willing to pop out for an afternoon bev. “It’s five o’clock somewhere Anna!” you shout in a last ditch attempt to drag out your housemate from Huddersfield. She stays in because she’s got an essay due in three weeks. She is weak. Obviously, you fall through the front door four hours later completely hammered, but who had the most fun? Not Anna.

We love a rugby club

We all have a story about a 16th birthday party at the local RFC. Usually inhabited by questionably old men and bar staff who are incredibly aware of quite how under age everyone they are serving is, rugby club parties were the best. Every one went back to school on Monday with filthy rumours about who did what with who behind where. You’re still not sure if they are true but you assume they are and bring it up every time you see them.

We bloody love the Six Nations

Admittedly we keep quiet about how much we love rugby for most of the year, but that’s fine, because it means you’ll always have someone to watch the glorious Six Nations with.  Whether we’re rooting for Webb or Georgey North you can always count on us to be interested. If we lose we’ll just bring up the Euro’s, or last September. We aren’t sore losers, just very good winners.

Red rugby jerseys are appropriate all of the time

We aren’t really sure when we got it or why, but it hangs with the kind of pride reserved for prom dresses and tuxedos.  It’s become a staple part of our capsule wardrobe which can be worn to any event, dressed up or down, rugby match or dinner party.  The possibilities are endless.

We have complained about match day trains, but still gone to Cardiff on match day

Will we ever learn? Probably not.  There’s nowhere better to day drink than the capital so why would we go anywhere else?  Get us to Mill Lane or the Bay.

All our best stories end with ‘and then we went Chippy Lane and got a minibus home’

“Yeah mate we planned to end up in Glam but Ffion got started on and we thought Dai was going to spew so we just went Chippy Lane and got a minibus home.”

We order a curry half and half

And subsequently been mortified to have come to England and realised that it is not a done thing. Why would you not want your curry with rice AND chips?  Don’t knock it until you try it.

Nothing we say makes sense

Welsh-isms are a problem we never really knew existed until we started fraternising with the English.

“Can we go to Primark?”

“What? Where?”

“…Pree-mark?”

From that moment on you are the butt of every joke.  It only gets worse when they hear you say “tooth” and “Adidas”.

We bring Welsh cakes back to uni from home

If you’re really lucky we’ll make them every now and again too.  Just stop telling us they taste like scones, they don’t, they are so much better than scones.  The scone is the English Welshcake.

We describe where we live in relation to Cardiff

This is definitely an English issue. Why are we expected to know where Stoke and Carlise are when you can’t get your Beddau, Bridgend and Briton Ferry the right way around?  Most of us don’t live that close to Cardiff and before you ask we almost definitely don’t know your mate who is studying there.

We definitely slip Welsh words into conversation

We can’t help ourselves, our beautiful language is too fun to not use at any opportunity.  Whether inviting you for a cwtch (cuddle) or expressing how ych a fi (minging/grim) you look the morning after a big sesh while complaining about being wedi blino iawn (very tired) there really is a welsh phrase for every single moment.

We complain about wherever we are, because home is always much prettier

And when you visit us you’ll understand why.

Bishyn, mun.