Your butt is not Mount Pleasant if it’s in gym wear

Christmas is long gone, but food babies the size of deflated footballs are still lingering. 

New Years resolutions have faded into February… but the attire of the ‘new year, new me’ look has stuck and it’s been taken to a whole new level. Half these gym-bunnies aren’t going to the gym. They’re wearing gym clothes without even stepping foot near an exercise bike. Walking is not justifiable exercise for the full Sports Direct attire.

What are you doing…

Do they not own normal clothes? It’s not acceptable to start wearing gym clothes in public. You look like a tit. Gym clothes are seeping into people’s everyday life without the gym actually becoming part of their daily routine.

Why not actually go to the gym? Is this a going to be the new fashion? Has gym wear replaced the good old, traditional tracksuit bottoms? Tracksuits are only acceptable to wear outside of the house on hangover days and late night ventures to your nearest Tesco.

No no no no no no

These people have been brainwashed into thinking “Hey if I wear these clothes, I’ll look like I go to the gym, which means I do go to the gym”. Newsflash: no you don’t.

Yes, the colour black is remarkably slimming. Yes, that tight lycra sucks you in until you vanish into oblivion, but while you might think it’s giving you an ass like Kim K, it’s not.

It isn’t what everyone wants to see behind them on their way to the SJ, especially first thing in the morning. Everyone feels ashamed for looking but they just can’t help staring at a lycra arse. Remember leggings? Leggings have sluggishly managed to evaporate from the fashion scene so why can’t their elasticated lycra equivalents in gym wear?

Gym clothes should only be worn at the gym.

It’s also hard to comprehend the ludicrous number of girls strolling around Liverpool (usually on a Friday or Saturday) wearing gym gear along with a head overflowing with enormous hair rollers. You cannot do both. Pick one. It’s obvious you have not been to the gym with those in your hair.

This is what a gym looks like – but you wouldn’t know, would you?

Another hideous part of this soul-destroying fashion trend that has creeped its way into everyday life is having a casual outfit accessorised with a pair of gym trainers. You aren’t going to the gym in that outfit, so why bother with the trying-to-be-trendy middle aged mum trainers? There are trainers and there are gym trainers. Learn the difference.

WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?

Please, just take a minute to deeply consider your outfit choices before leaving the house. It would really prevent innocent people feeling guilty for staring at bums that have attempted to be enhanced with lycra.