What your halls room decor says about you

Just like shoes say a lot about their owner, a fresher’s room says a lot about its inhabitant. The nose-around is your chance to see what your new mate is all about, so look out for these warning signs that your your new BFF might make you want to tear your hair out by the end of first semester.

The travelling memoirs

You walk into a room of wall hangings and trinkets, with the walls basically covered wall to ceiling in original photos of elephants. If you fall into the trap of being caught looking, you’ll never hear the end of  how “travel changed their life”.

So you went to Thailand….

The leaning tower of course books

They’ve bought every book on the reading  list via the bank of mummy and daddy, and spend half of freshers lecturing you on why you should too. They most likely talk about coursework and exams on the 699 and spend their time locked away in their rooms prepping for seminars. You’re a first year – put the book down, it doesn’t count.

All the books

Brb reading

Condom covered desk

Congratulations, you’re living with Jay from The Inbetweeners. They’ve stocked up on enough condoms to sheath the 5000, delusionally hopeful for freshers pulling, with the biggest box they could find – only to take it back home practically unused at summer.

They seem unable to use a drawer like everyone else, instead choosing johnnies as a centrepiece in the vain attempt to appear a LAD and share their “wild stories”.

Bit grim

Shelves modelled on booze

The only thing on their shelves is bottles. And no Asda value vodka, it all has to be the big names. They look physically disgusted if your whisky isn’t Jack Daniels, and constantly spunk all their money away on predrinks, leaving them scrounging when you get to the club.

Ciroc is their bae but by second semester they may lower themselves to Smirnoff.

How can you afford these?

Connoisseur

Bae shrine

There’s always one fresher who’s obsessed with their other half, and this is clearly reflected in their room. If you don’t know this person, it’s probably you.

The giant Valentine’s teddies, love quote canvases and million photos of their bae are your warning sign to get out of there sharp.

xoxo

However, you probably won’t see them much anyway because they’ll always be away at the weekends visiting their boyfriend/girlfriend – a blessing in disguise actually as they probably spend nights out miserable that they’re apart, glued to their phones.

<3

Things ‘you’ve probably never heard of’

Their choice of décor is to showcase their favourite music and films, constantly acting surprised and bitter when anyone else knows them.

The hipster try hard who presumes everyone else is too mainstream and basic to have the same taste. Ironically their favour bands are usually really well known. Yes other people also listen to the Smiths and Pink Floyd.

Yes I’ve heard of the Beatles

Everyones seen La Dolce Vita mate

All your missing stuff

Probably the worse kind of flatmate, that only shows their true colours a few days in when your leftover pre’s mysteriously vanish.

It starts with drinks and the contents of your fridge, progressing to finding your whole plate set on their desk, used. By the end of the year they’ve managed to smuggle half of your wardrobe into their room… never to return.

How did that get in there?